Arch-Nemesis : Cast Iron Skillet

I have a new arch enemy.  Sure it is an inanimate object, but that doesn't make me crazy at all I swear.  My wife and I both cook and clean so there is no division of labor when it comes to those chores.  About a week ago my wife made some delicious chicken in our new 20 dollar cast iron skillet.  My wife tends to cook with high heat (there are so many puns/innuendos I could put there but I choose to control myself) and as such the skillet got some caked on stuff.  "Not to worry, I told her, I will clean it up."

Phase 1 : Soak over night
I set the skillet aside in some hot soapy water, sure that the next morning it would come off with ease.
SCORE : Skillet 1, TheHusBlog 0

Phase 2 : Soak overnight in soap only, no water then go at it with green scrubby sponge
Some stuff started to free itself from it's skillet bonds but alas more work needed to be done.
SCORE : Skillet 2, TheHusBlog 0

Phase 3 : SOS Pads
First off this did get even more stuff off but it also got all kinds of weird blue/grey SOS soap under my nails.  Had to take a break to cut my nails.
SCORE : Skillet 3, TheHusBlog 0

Halftime Break, it is at this point I should point out that the skillet was only 20 dollars and I had worked on it for three days.  So, while it would have been easier to just buy a new skillet I was not going to quit.

Phase 4 : Steal Wool
Now we are talking.  The scrubbing with the steal wool started to do some real damage to the caked on stuff  and the tide was turning.
SCORE : Skillet 3, TheHusBlog 1

Phase 5 : Copper Coated Steal Wool
Even more progress now, in fact I thought this was going to be the end game but still some pieces hung on for dear life.
SCORE : Skillet 3, TheHusBlog 2

Phase 6 : Knife
Now I went at this thing with the blunt end of a knife, forcefully and purposefully (can't believe those are both words) scraping the last of it.
SCORE : Skillet 3, TheHusBlog 3

So over the course of several days I probably spent around 3 hours cleaning a 20 dollar pan.  Sure I could have probably bought a new one and saved the trouble but TheHusBlog is not a quitter!

Well played Skillet, I am sure we will meet again...


A Husband's Guide to : Exhaustion

In the past 2 days I have gotten a total of 3 hours of sleep.  You might now be asking yourself, "Then why is TheHusBlog writing a blog post rather than sleeping," or "Maybe is name is Jesse?"  First off I am writing this post because I am dedicated to this blog and I had something very interesting happen that I want to document.  

Working in a technology production support environment sometimes means that things go wrong and you cannot leave until they are fixed.  That situation cropped up on Thursday.  I started work at 7.00am Thursday morning and I did not leave work until 6.00am Friday morning.  Unfortunately, me and my team still had a bunch of work to do on Friday so we all went home, slept until 9.00 am and started work again (from home).  There is the three hours.  

Some people get cranky when they are tired, I get goofy.  I tend to crack stupid jokes and laugh myself silly.  But the other thing that happens is sub-consciously all the energy I use to worry about things, over think situations, and plan my every action gets redirected to critical thinking and making sure I walk without hitting walls.  

The result of this energy shift is that I go from being a Type-A need to be in control person to a Type-B go with the flow cause it could be cool person.  So when I finished up with work the wife asked me if I wanted to see a movie.  I said yes without thinking about the pros and cons or worrying about if there was even a movie that I wanted to see.  Then we tried a new restaurant, did some shopping at the mall and then some grocery shopping.  All of these activities I just agreed to because we were already having a good time.  Now I am completely exhausted write (so exhausted I am using puns without realizing it) now as I write this but I wanted to capture the effects of that exhaustion.

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : Things I Normally Think of That I Don't When I am Exhausted
  • Is this going to be a hassle?
  • What am I going to get out of this?
  • But I want to do what I want to do?
  • I don't think this is going to be fun?
  • What time will we get home?
  • How much is this going to cost?
  • Can we afford this?
I am not saying you need to get to exhaustion to make your spouse happy, or that you should never ask the above questions.  Instead I am just pointing out that going with the flow is good for your marriage.  Sure sometimes it is important to take control and take care of yourself.  But not all the time.  

Sometimes just going with the flow is best thing for you and your spouse.

-TheHusBlog, now I am going to set this to post and get some sleep.

A Husband's Guide to : What to Not Care About

Many years ago I was a psychology major in college.  That is not what I ended up as but it was a start.  I was intensely interested in the reasons why people feel the way they do and how the environment can shape that.  As a result I often sat in many a community college psychology class.  During one of my classes the professor brought in a recording he had made of a 20/20 (I think?) broadcast on a group of psychologists studying married couples over a period of like 10 years.

What stuck with me was the claim one of the psychologists made.  He claimed he could determine how long a couple would stay married after interviewing them.  As the program went on this psychologist spoke about his theory which was interlaced with scenes of various couples talking about their marriage.  The greatest predictor was that once the couple stopped fighting and said "I don't care" it was over.  I don't mean to say this is a "do whatever makes you happy and I will support it I don't care," what he was talking about was the exasperated, exhausted "fuck it, I just don't care."  The news segment ended with one of the couples that had been featured talking about a conflict they were having about where to move.  You could tell it was over by the end of their exchange...  The wife said, "I don't care."  The scene cut to the newsman talking to the psychologist and he said, based on what I have seen, I give them 5 years before divorce.

Now hold that thought for a minute.

Recently I was watching another program and a divorce attorney was being interviewed.  The divorce attorney said his biggest enemy was not the other side but often his own clients.  He said that after long legal battles one side just usually gives up.  Stops fighting for anything and just says "I don't care."  The lawyer went on to explain that it is at this point that his client loses.  Rather than fighting for what he/she wants or deserves he/she just wants it to be over.

So if there is anything we can take away from the two above items is that "I don't care" can be incredibly damaging.  This is not to say that everything has to be a fight, but you have to be willing to stand up for what you believe in...  And you have to be patient when presenting your point to your spouse.

There are so many things to care about, but there are just as many that we shouldn't.  To many times we get them confused.  In fact I bet if you really looked back on your past couple fights with your spouse by the time the fight was over it had nothing to do with what started it.

Save your energy for the things that really matter.  That way when the big stuff comes up you won't be too exhausted to deal with it.  Let go of the little things and move forward and I think you will find being unburdened with the resentment of missing the first two previews because the spouse was late to leave for the movies will make you a better person.  And more importantly, I am sure the preview is online anyway.


Comments, Shout Outs, and a Fun New Game

Hello Internets!

Yeah I just made internet plural on purpose...  What are you going to do about it?  Nothing!  Yeah that's right I am a digital badass.

Sorry about the above sentences I get a little grandiose when I have been drinking, which for those you playing along with the home game, means I am two drinks ahead.  And I am probably 2 more drinks away from buying Steve Winwood's Greatest Hits on iTunes.  (Loyal readers know what's up).

As you can tell by my the title I have several topics to cover.  First off is comments.  A couple other bloggers sent me emails this week letting me know of comment issues.  It appears that blogger has made it difficult to leave comments and I wanted to change that.  I have altered some settings which should make you able to leave comments now.  I have loosened up the requirements enough that I am betting some bots will be able to leave comments as well, but I assure you I will make the best of it.  (So going to flame my own comments if bot comments start to pop up)

Secondly I want to give shout outs to the kind bloggers who sent me an email letting me know my comments were jacked up.

Andrea at Maybe It's Just Me, which is very funny and insightful, never preachy, and makes you feel at home.

Bailey.m.t at Nerdy Shiny Pointy Things, which is probably the greatest blog title ever.

Thirdly my Fun New Game.  There are several words I use every now and again that often get the weird head turn and a "huh".  So I am going to list these words with two possible definitions.  One is the real definition and the other is a made up one.  Read and see if you can guess which one is right.  And if you want to know the right answer just google it!


  • A store that sells clothing and personal items.
  • Running quickly around your friend Haber, forcing him to pay your dinner bill.
  • Having a condition that causes one to pass gas of an exotic variety, often smelling like the Quix Flower of Eastern Yemen.
  • A chivalrous, but foolish action.
  • A condition of discontent, associated with choosing a profession of ill repute.
  • An assembly or gathering of people.
  • According to or ordered by Cannon Law of the Church.
  • According to or ordered by Cannon Law of the Union of Cannon Fired Circus People.

A Husband's Guide to : What Interviewing for a Job Can Teach Us About Our Marriage

As a ubiquitous middle manager at a Marketing company I do a lot of interviewing.  Recently people have noticed that I seem to have a knack for finding the right candidates and rejecting the wrong ones.  In fact the past couple that have been hired against my suggestion have been so bad that people now will not hire a candidate without my approval.

During a recent round of interviews I was going over my methodology with a colleague and explaining how I decide on candidates.  My process involves three main steps :

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : My Interview Caveats

  • Get them comfortable.  I believe I have a much higher chance of getting honest answers if the candidate is at ease.  I crack jokes, sit casually, and make sure they don't need anything like a beverage.
  • Vary between experience and attitude questions.  No one wants to sit through an interview with a hundred "Tell me about a time when you..." questions.  At the same getting a million "Tell me why we should hire you" questions can also be off putting.  I like to vary asking a couple experience questions and them some attitude opinion questions.  One of my current favorites is tell me what your biggest professional pet peeve is?
  • Pay Fucking Attention!  Here is the key to my success.  I listen to what they are saying and because I have made them comfortable and asked the right questions I get to pick up on all the things they might try to hide or don't want me to know.  If a candidate, when asked about a difficult project, spends more time talking about the barriers he faced because of other people that candidate is most likely a victim and not proactive.  If a candidate, when asked about a task he did not enjoy, talks about it being beneath him, then he has a chip on his shoulder and is not willing to pay his dues.  Or, if a candidate, when asked about a professional mistake in his past cannot think of one, then he is not someone who is able to view himself objectively.
I know what you are thinking, what does this have to do with marriage?

Actually it has a lot to do with marriage.  We must use the same techniques in interviewing as we do with our spouses.  Not because we want to trip them up, but because we want them comfortable enough to answer our questions honestly.  Sometimes marriage discussions can be tough and if we do not take the time to make our partner comfortable, ask the right questions, and pay attention we might miss out on something.

If you are a newlywed you might be thinking, that will never happen with me and my sweetie, we tell each other everything.  If that is true, awesome. But the fact of the matter is as time goes on in a marriage it can get harder and harder to share your true feelings.  You might not be willing to admit something, you might want to spare your partner's feelings, or you might even want to have more time to process something you are feeling.  But in order to have a great marriage you have to be willing to have the hard conversations as well.  

Conversations about finances, when to have kids, sexual concerns, and extended family issues can create a very tense situation.  But if you take the time to put one another at ease, ask the right questions and really pay attention you can have a meaningful and fruitful dialogue.


A Husband's Guide to : Redefining Acronyms

First off, I think I spelled acronyms wrong in the title of this blog post but I am blazing through that for two reasons.  One, spelling has never been my strong suit, and two, I have been drinking.

(Think of a good segue here)

So, with the influx of technology, the written word is becoming a hybrid of communication, emotion, and connection.  In the past, the written word could move people to great action, convey the sincerest of condolence, and challenge conventional wisdom.  However with the creation of texting and social media the written word is being thrown around as casually as (insert non-offensive metaphor here).  We, as an online society have chosen brevity over thoughtfulness, and convention over personalization.  We have created terms that almost everyone understands now, like LOL or BRB.  But these things could change on a whim.  What would happen if all the acronyms that we use daily all of sudden meant something else.  Then we as a society would have to *gasp* write out whole words.

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : New Acronyms...

  • LOL used to mean Laugh Out Loud.  But now "Like Otters Loser".  Used to tell people that even though what they said was good, if they do not enjoy otters they will be losers.  
    • JIMMY : And that is when I fell over the keg because I drank too much to do a keg stand.
    • BOBBY : LOL
    • JIMMY : You are right that was dumb, I will be sure to respect Otters in the future, good looking out man.
  • LMAO used to mean Laughing My Ass Off.  But now "Listen Man, Actual Orders".  Used to tell people how serious their plans were.
    • HECTOR : And that is when I found out my 6 year old wasn't actually mine.
    • VICK : LMAO
    • HECTOR : Yeah man, of course I am going respect the court's decision.
  • BRB used to mean Be Right Back.  But now "Bring Rectum Bandages".  Used to tell your friends when you are in a world of hurt.
    • KEN : I am about to bang that German Girl with the huge biceps...  BRB
    • GREG : You know she is a dude right????!!!!!!
    • KEN : Duh.  That is why I said BRB
  • JK used to mean Just Kidding.  But now "Just Killing".  Used to tell your friends when you are engaged in homicide.
    • CATHY : About to deal with that bitch who slept with my boyfriend... JK
    • MISSY : JK?
    • CATHY : There sure is a lot of blood, do you have a mop handy?
    • MISSY : LOL
    • CATHY :  Of course I like otters, what am I a crazy person?
  • YMMV used to mean Your Mileage May Very.  But now "You maybe missed, Vader".
    • STORMTROPPER : The rebels are getting away YMMV.
    • DARTH VADER : ...
    • STORMTROPPER : <gasp> <gurgle> <gasp>

Writer's Block Rescue

So, just in case you haven't noticed my updates have gotten a wee bit sporadic over the past two weeks.  This is due to two main things.  One have had some pretty full weekends and two, writer's block.

I was checking email this afternoon while enjoying the greatest Ice Cream in the world : High Road Brown Butter and Praline.

Jennifer from High Heels and Dirty Dishes tagged little old me in a post and all of a sudden I had some inspiration.

Here are the rules, I have to answer her questions and post them here.  So here are my answers to her questions.

1. I admitted that I'm a bit of an aficionado on the Manson Family; What is your eccentric curiosity?  I am a super Sci-Fi and Pop Culture geek.  I also love to cook and watched (and enjoyed) the entire DVD that came with my Cuisinart Food Processor.
2. Most people would be shocked to hear that I can _____/ I cannot ______. Choose one, or answer both. Whatever floats your boat!  I have no sense of direction.  That gene is completely missing from my chromosomes.  I get lost everywhere I go.  
3. List a song that makes you laugh and one that makes you cry.  Laugh : Anything by Weird Al, Cry : I do not cry.
4. If you had a hired hand to do just one thing for you all of the time, what would their duty be?  Cook me healthy and delicious meals.
5. There's still a part of me that dreams about becoming a __________ someday, even though it's complete bullshit and never going to happen.  This is going to sound strange but I always wanted to be a research psychologist focusing on diagnostics.  Also a ninja.  If I had to choose between the two listed...  Ninja all the fucking way.
6. You've been given an all-inclusive trip to one place, anywhere in the world, and could bring 1 guest. Where would you go and who would you take with you?  El Dorado Maroma in Cancun.  And I would take my wife.  It is my favorite vacation spot of all time.
7. If you were a character in a James Bond movie, what would your character's name be?  My name would be "The Fez" because I would wear a ridiculously tiny fez on my head that would conceal a tiny slingshot I could use with annoying accuracy.  
8. List 3 of your guilty pleasures in life.  TV, Captain Morgan, and Blogging
9. What's the best and worst thing about the community you live in?  I live in downtown Dallas so the best thing is that I can walk to get almost anything.  The worst thing is getting hit up for money everywhere I walk to.
10. The older I get, the more I ___________.  I want to spend on furniture.
11. What's the punchline to your favorite joke? Just the punchline.  And that's why we can't have nice things.

Now on to the next part.  I have to come up with 11 questions for other bloggers to answer.  I am supposed to tag them but I will just put my questions out to the world.  If you want to answer them please do it in a post on your own blog but be sure to leave a comment here with a link so that other people can check out your answers.

  1. You have an apple, a shard of glass, 5 ft of rope, and 2 dead AA Batteries.  What kind of weapon do you make?
  2. If you had a magazine the exemplified your life, what would the title of that magazine be?
  3. What is your favorite cocktail and why?
  4. You can have either : A bag that could hold anything you put in it and not grow any larger or be any heavier or 20 pills that when each one was taken would allow you to lose 10 pounds overnight painlessly and without any side-effects, which do you choose and why?
  5. You could either be an ensign on the Star Ship Enterprise (Next Generation), The Doctor's Companion, or a super hero for a year, which one do you choose and why?
  6. What is one store you are embarrassed that you shop at?
  7. What is one website you are embarrassed that you frequent?
  8. What, exactly, would you do for a Klondike Bar?
  9. If you had 1 million dollars to donate to any charity what charity would you choose?
  10. Sharks, what the fuck is up with them?
  11. If you were a super hero what would your name and super powers be?

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