A Husband's Guide to : Surviving Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving can be a magical time for men, especially those that live in Dallas who can enjoy not only a HUGE meal (most Americans eat an average of 4,500 calories(look, you learned something)), but Cowboy Football as well.  However you would be a fool to think that you will escape unscathed. There are a multitude of chores that need to be done so you have to manage time appropriately and make sure that those around you are not close to a blow up.

Large family gatherings make the stress worse because if you get into a fight with your significant other you will try to hold it in until you are alone, which means you and your wife will be asking to pass the gravy with clenched teeth thinking that no one is noticing...  Newsflash, everyone notices.  Or if you were raised Catholic like myself things are much more passive aggressive, like the gravy will be passed to everyone but you.  Although in defense of the Catholic upbringing, people usually just end up getting drunk and forgetting about it later any way...

But I digress.  Let's get to the core issues here :

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : Thanksgiving Tips and Tricks

  • If you are hosting Thanksgiving
    • Before the day : Make sure all the little chores you wife has been bugging you politely reminding you about get done.  Grease those hings, fix that light switch, hang the lights, or at the very least hire some contractor to come in a do it for you.
    • On the day : Get up early and just start cleaning.  Don't really care what you do, vacuum, dust, mop, take out trash.  The key here is to be proactive, if you look like you are doing something to help then your wife will view you as an ally.  Besides if you are doing something wrong she will tell you.
    • After the meal : As the meal winds down start picking up dishes and putting them in the sink/dishwasher.  This is a defensive move.  As long as it looks like things are progressing then harmony will exist.
  • If you are a guest of Thanksgiving
    • Before the day : Make sure you know what you are bringing and ask if you can help prepare anything.  If you suck at cooking odds are your best chance at helping will be to take out the trash repeatedly during the cooking process.  I don't know why but Thanksgiving side dishes create more mess in their creation then any other food item.
    • On the day : Get ready, dress appropriately, and make sure to bring the side item when you leave.  When you arrive the best action is to see what the other men are doing and do that.  If someone is trying to get around you and says excuse me to you more than twice then find a new place to be!  Staying out of the way is your only job now.
    • After the meal : Remember to thank the host and say the food was amazing and don't forget to throw out a compliment to whatever your wife brought as well.  Here is an example : "The food was amazing [Host name here], thank you so much, and honey, your [insert dish name here] was great."  Here is a bad example, "Thank you [Host name here], this is way better than the swill I get at home." 
Let's make this the least painful Thanksgiving ever!  Just kidding.  Being around family and friends enjoying a good meal, and being truly thankful is what Thanksgiving is all about.  Well that and giving indigenous people blankets infected with smallpox, but let's just focus on the first part. Do what you can to help out but get out of the way when you need to.  The same goes for life.

-TheHusBlog

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