A Husband's Guide to : Is Your Marriage a Brand or a Product?

My wife and I went out with my family the other night and my father, brother, and I started to have an interesting conversation around the concept of a brand and product as well as what their life cycles entail.  (I know, I know, dinner with my family sounds incredibly exciting)

We started by talking about how long a brand really stays around.  At first we named really recent companies and brands but soon the conversation lead to stronger brands that have endured the test of time.  Brands like General Motors, NBC, and Clorox.  Then we started thinking about products and how what each brand produced changed over time.  GM's cars have evolved over time, NBC started as a radio company and moved to TV and Clorox has made many different kinds of bleach.

I then started to think about this concept of a brand versus a product and how it relates to a marriage.  You know what there is something I haven't done in a while that I really need to do:

"Tell us your real name?"

No voice in my head, keep it down.

"Just checking."

No, I need to do a...

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : Brands Vs. Products

  • A Brand : Encompasses an ideal or concept.  It means more than just a simple utility or item.  A brand has staying power.
  • A Product : Solves only a few problems and is finite in it's application.
  • A Brand : Has an identity and an intrinsic value, when the brand is named it means something.
  • A Product : Has a concrete value associated to it's specific use.
So keeping all this mind how do you think of your marriage?  Do you think of it in terms of Brand or a Product.  Do you and your spouse move through each day trying to accomplish one specific task or do you have something more complex in mind.  Are you just a couple who live together, or do you both have similar values and ideals that when combined create a lasting impression on the world around you?


Because I Would Not Stop for the Flu, It Kindly Stopped for Me

Hello my good and faithful followers (I will totally forgive you if you are neither good nor faithful).

I have missed a week's worth of posts and that is mainly due to me being good and truly sidelined by what I am calling a "summer flu".  It started early last week and left me down for the count up until around Sunday.  I am still working on my post about how I feel about taxes however after the wife gave it a read I have decided to make some changes or perhaps even re-write the whole thing but I swear that is coming.

Rather than trying to fit a guide into this post I am going to leave you with some things that I learned while dealing with the "summer flu":

Mad Men is an okay show : I could only muster about an two hours awake at a time and while I was awake I watched tv.  Many people have told me that Mad Men was not to be missed so I called upon the Netflix queue and watched the first season.  It is not the greatest show in the world by any means but it is pretty decent.

Cats know when you are sick : My cat would keep watch over me in my awful condition and would be loving and caring.  However, feeding time is still feeding time and she was pissed if I did not get my butt up to provide a new can of cat food, she has after all, grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle.

You really notice where you "missed a spot" when sick : Because when nauseous you can't really move your head more than a couple millimeters at a time without hurling you really notice the places where you missed a spot cleaning your place.  I like to think I keep a clean apartment, but to be honest, after staring at the legs of my couch for 3 minutes I really need to clean more thoroughly.

You can lose 10 pounds in just 3 days : But you do not need any fancy diets or pills.  Just a horrid flu.  I am still weak and tired but I will be damned, my pants fit better.  You know silver lining and all...

Thank you for bearing with me while I was down for the count and I promise a better post on saturday!


A Husband's Guide to : Danger

I usually begin thinking about my Saturday blog post on the drive home from work on Friday.  This friday I found myself thinking about how silly some words sound singular vs. plural based on their common usage and then I found that STDs were the funniest category:

Herpes becomes Herpe (I got a Herpe)
Crabs becomes Crab (I gots a case of Crab, which taken out of context would sound delicious)
Syphilis becomes Syphili (Which sounds like the name of the next generation operating system for Windows.  Windows Syphili, faster than Vista, more powerful that XP)

I have no idea why I found this so funny, nor did I think it would be enough for an entire blog post but you know how I like to share.  So instead of trying to stretch out that concept I am moving on to danger.

(Dramatic Music)

The thought danger occurred to me today while drinking alcohol in my boss's office.  I guess I should first explain how I got there.

During a meeting my boss, myself, and some co-workers where talking about our weekend plans.  Someone mentioned that they just wanted a stiff drink and 12 hours of sleep.  I work in marketing and as such we work long hours.  We all started talking about our favorite "adult beverages" and one person mentioned that Jack Daniel's has a new Honey Bourbon Liquor out.  My boss immediately was excited, she is fan of bourbon.  I offered to make a trip to the "Adult Candy Store" during lunch and acquire Honey Jack Daniels if everyone agreed to have a drink together at the end of the day.  Yeah, that was a real arm twister, let me tell you.

So at the end of the day we all gathered in my Boss's office with styrofoam cups.  As the Honey Bourbon was poured we each took our first tentative sip.  Then another, then another...  Damn it was tasty.  It had a smooth bourbon taste with the sweetness of honey, it was warm going down but after the ice in our cups melted just a little it was perfect.  My boss then mentioned, "this stuff is dangerous."

And she was right.

The Jack Daniels Honey Bourbon had a delicious taste but if you weren't careful you would just drink one glass after another and before you knew it you would be "Tore up from the floor up."  Which then got me to thinking what other dangerous things could be lurking in our lives and because this is a marriage blog... our marriage.

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : Dangerous Things

  • Dates : As we get busy in our lives it is easy to over look milestones that should be celebrated.  It starts when you forget your first kiss, of miss an anniversary because of being busy.  Even if you both do it, it still represents danger.  Your relationship should always be top of mind and milestones should be acknowledged and celebrated in whatever way you like.  Maybe it is not a fancy night out for dinner, but it should be honored in some way.
  • Assumptions : As we grow with our partner sometimes we are sure we know how the other will react.  This is always dangerous, especially if you predict it will be fine when it isn't.
  • Taking for Granted : We are all guilty of taking our loved ones for granted.  It is a constant struggle to say thank you and appreciate the little things, especially when you have grown accustomed to them.  The two most powerful words in the world are "Thank you."  They convey an appreciation that can mean the world to someone else.
The danger is looking at your spouse with "old eyes."  Sometimes the best thing to do is treat your spouse like they are new to you.  I don't mean forgetting their name either...  It is about the little moments when you are still surprised by one another.  It is about treating the 15th anniversary with the same excitement as the first.  


And That's When I Realized Bagels Are Not Appropriate Wedding Gifts

Okay, let me be honest here, that title has nothing to do with what I am going to write here.  It just sounded funny in my head.  I have no idea why I thought of a sentence like that but hey I am just going to go with it.

I have been working on a post about Taxes and how I feel about them, however it is an exceeding long post, lacking humor and might in some small way make me seem like a douche-bag.  So until I can de-douche that post, or over-douche it(I believe in extremes) I cannot post it.

Instead I will share with you my super power.  Super Delayed Hearing!  (Insert powerful trumpet music here).  Now you might be thinking, "what in the fuck is super delayed hearing?"  I have bad hearing in general, it might have set in at an early age having to do with getting tubes in my ears or it might just be a malady passed on by my father, in any case I suck at hearing.

However, I think part of my brain has come to compensate for that fact and if I hear something I do not understand my brain seems to take what it heard and begin a process where is tries to make sense of the sounds I have heard.  This process can sometimes take a few seconds but more often than I not I come away with what was said.  Now if I could just keep my mouth shut for the seconds it takes to process this information I would be fine, however I instinctively say "huh?"

My wife is a woman of extremes as well.  I describe her as going from def-con 0 to def-con 27 in a heartbeat.  This is not to say she is mean or hits me or anything but if she says something in a normal voice and say "huh?" rather than increasing her volume to the appropriate level, he goes into full on hearing aid failing volume.

This results in her saying "Can you pee in <blank> water <blank> purple haze"

Then me saying, "huh?"

Mental processing complete, oh empty the dishwasher.

Then her yelling "Can you empty the dishwasher please"

Okay, okay, it might not be a super power.  Actually now that I think about it, it might be a weakness.  Damn, you public education system for falsely boosting my self esteem.  (Shaking fist at sky)

Unfortunately now I am having a hard time ending this post... Oh wait, how about it:

...And then I found 5 dollars.

Nailed It


A Husband's Guide to : The Present Closet

My mother is a hostess like none other.  If a soiree (really, that's how you spell that?) is to be thrown my mother is the queen of presentation.  She can make anything seem fancy.  I marvel at her seemingly endless collection of serving dishes (some handed down from generations gone by, others bought at JC Penny).  I mention this to frame my mother's ability to be prepared.  She is kind of like a Social Etiquette Girl Scout.

During my teenage years, when my ability to prepare for anything other than sleep or video games was non-existent, my mother always had anything I needed in the Present Closet.  The present closet had cards for any occasion, all manor of wrapping paper, gift bags, and of course all kinds of little knick-knacks and gifts.  The present closet saved me so many times it is hard to count.

Now as I have grown up I have started my own present closet.  If I see something the wife might want I just buy it and keep it in the present closet.  If I see a good gift for my brother, I just buy it and put it in the present closet.  If I receive a package of something I ordered on Amazon that I don't remember ordering because I was drinking near the internet then I just put it in the gift closet.

The results of this process means that at any given time I am ready to provide a gift at a moment's notice and it has saved me time and time again.  Didn't have time to go shopping for a friend's present, not to worry already had it in the gift closet.  Need a last minute host gift so that I can look like the best guest at a friend's dinner party, not to worry have it in the gift closet.  Wife gets mad at me for snoring, give her a gift from the gift closet.  About the only problem it won't solve is if a wild badger gets set loose in the apartment, but let's be honest, that only happens once a year right?

The gift closet is one of those little tricks that has helped me be more prepared.  I really enjoy shopping for friends and with the closet I can do it year round so holidays don't creep up on me.  Plus I am always on the look out for stuff the wife might like so that when her birthday comes up everything is handled.


A Husband's Guide to : Mommy Bloggers

So when I first started to write this blog a friend of mine recommended I do research on other blogs to find out what I thought was good writing and inspiration.  Keep in mind that my wife and I do not have kids yet.  

So I spent weeks scouring the internet looking for good writing to act as both an inspiration and a level set for my own writing and content.  I set about this blog writing for myself, however I also wanted to ensure that what I wrote about was funny, insightful, or at the very least readable.  

Husband blogs are few and far between but I found a few worth following.  But interestingly enough, I found that more often than not I was following "Mommy Blogs."  This struck me as odd because I do not have kids but for some reason the honest, and inherently sarcastic tone that most "Mommy Blogs" have struck a chord with me.  Sure enough I follow some interestingly informative marriage blogs, and hilarious single blogs, but I keep coming back to "Mommy Blogs".

The internet is this amazing thing that allows for people in all sorts of situations to share their own hopes, fears, thoughts, opinions, and musings with the world.  I am a six foot one, gun toting, rum swilling, swear machine that follows a bunch of mommies and I would not have it any other way.

Mommy Bloggers I salute you.  Your content is entertaining and bold, your opinions honest and fair.  I will keep reading as long as you keep writing.


powered by Blogger | WordPress by Newwpthemes | Converted by BloggerTheme