Because Keggers Give Way to Dinner Parties

I know I have been so off schedule it isn't even funny and I will get back to regularly scheduled programming in the coming weeks but unfortunately I have gotten busy with the most random of things.  This week is the wife's Birthday Week.  Yes, I said Birthday Week.  My family does birthday's big so it could not simply be contained in just one day.  In fact my happy ass was up at 7.30am on a Saturday to go get breakfast Tacos for the wifey.  Let birthday week begin.

Tonight we have a romantic dinner scheduled which should be fun.

But I digress.  This post is about the inevitable evolution where everyone loves dinner parties.  Okay, maybe not everyone.  But in our youth to host a party all you had to do was acquire booze, call people, and then drink.  While these were easy and successful affairs age ill affords us the ability to drink with such aplomb.

But you still want to meet up with friends and have conversation.

Which leads us to dinner parties.  Kegs of domestic beer and vodka in plastic bottles gives way to lamb chops served on a bed of potato leak gratin and a sassy red with fine nose.  The topics of conversation evolve as well.  From who is dating whom, to who just had a baby and 401Ks.

Is it the death of youth when one begins to appreciate the finer things in life?

Nah...

But seriously, who doesn't love a good dinner party.

-TheHusBlog

A Husband's Guide to : The 3 C's

Marriage is a partnership, often times it relies on the agreement between two individuals to not only support one another, but to have one another's back should conflict arise.  It is hard to be completely fair to someone we see and interact with every day.  As the years progress we tend to see more of the flaws than the successes...

In order to really enjoy and support your partner you have to remember the the three C's.  Compliment, Congratulate, and Critique.  By the way it is in that order...

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : The Three C's

  • Compliment.  If you spouse looks wonderful, then tell them so.  Make sure you are genuine in your compliment.  We so often take for granted the amazing things our spouse does everyday.  It can be a challenge to step outside of ourselves to realize how lucky we are to have our partners.
  • Congratulate.  It is important to celebrate the successes of our partners.  Whether it is completing a program of some kind, getting a promotion, or saving the life of a foreign dignitary.  Successes should be enjoyed because they are what lifts us up.
  • Critique.  Certainly there are times when we are hurt, bothered, or even offended by our spouses behavior.  In those instances you will have to have a conversation with them about how you perceived the situation and how they perceived it.  These conversations should always be fact based, with no name calling, and of course constructive.

(You need to understand that the part above was written a few days before the part below.  That will hopefully explain the change in tone.  You see I was re-reading this and while I agree with the points above it is not anything that a thousand "relationship experts" have thought about and written about.  I would go as far as to say it is a little boring)

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : The Three F's (Yeah, its going down like this)
  • Fake Excitement : I am really a homebody.  I like just chilling at home, making some dinner and enjoying a quiet evening.  My wife on the other hand loves going out.  Most of the time I am agreeable to going out but there are a few random occasions I choose to fake some serious excitement.  I do this so that the wife doesn't always feel she is going out with a Sour Sam or a Negative Nick.
  • Forget Fights : The real key to the success of any relationship is to let go of anger.  It is never fair to have an argument and then continuously bring it up any chance you get.  If we have a fight, after it is over I do my best to forget it ever happened.
  • Fuck With Her : As we men basically hit the zenith of our maturity at around age 7 I still love to mess with my wife.  Whether it is trying to mess with her while she is reading a book, or pulling her back down on the bed 10 times while she is trying to get up I cannot help it.  
So as you can see I have presented two different lists of helpful hints.  The first a boring but mature method of supporting your partner.  The other a more interesting way to look at things.  Choose one, choose both, or do your own thing.  And too be honest you know option three is the best...

-TheHusBlog

Things : Pre-Marriage Questions

Before my wife and I got married we bought a book called "1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married."

Our exploration of this book started as a lark(yeah I just used lark in a sentence, jealous?) but soon became a very serious endeavor.  It served as a great spring board for exploring topics that we didn't think of or were scared to dive into.  However in reflecting on this book I have thought of a few questions that were not covered that I think every engaged couple should explore before walking down the aisle.

Things that you should ask before marriage:

Zombie Section

  • If we had two weapons, a crossbow and a machete, which weapon would you want me to use and which weapon would you want to use?
  • I am turned into a Zombie, do you:
    • Capture me, and search the earth for a cure
    • Shoot me in the head immediately because you know I would not want to be a zombie
    • Let me bite you so we can be zombies together
    • Run away screaming screw you, I'm dating your sister(or brother) now
  • Would you be willing to kill our human neighbors for their food so we can survive, because after all he seems to take good care of his family.  I mean why can't you get a promotion at work.  And have you seen her new car...
  • How much pre zombie war stock piling is too much?

Reality TV Show Possibilities Section
  • What would be the name of a reality tv show that follows our life?
  • What type of facial hair would you(or like me to) grow for a Television show:
    • Thin chin strap beard
    • Full beard
    • Mustache only, but definitely a handlebar
    • Something modeled from the people on The Hunger Games
  • Who would you rather us be friends with :
    • A slightly alcoholic couple who are very kind
    • A mildly alcoholic couple who are funny
    • An alcoholic couple who are rich
    • An extremely alcoholic couple who are crazy rich
  • If only one of us could spend the money made on our reality tv show who should spend the money and what should it be spent on?
Let's Play Pretend Section
  • If we had to divorce and go into an arranged marriage with other partners would you want me to pick your new spouse?
  • If we had to divorce and go into an arranged marriage with other partners would you want to pick my new spouse?
  • If you die can I marry one of your friends, if so, do you have someone in mind?
  • What would you rather give up, your cell phone for 1 year or our wedding album forever?
  • If I murdered someone would you remarry before or after I was executed?
  • Would you rather open a restaurant or a clothing store with me?
  • Who would you rather go to for advice, me or my parents?

-TheHusBlog


UPDATED : For extra fun I have made my wife answer each question.  

Zombie Section

  • If we had two weapons, a crossbow and a machete, which weapon would you want me to use and which weapon would you want to use?  Wife : Crossbow because I don't think your accuracy would be as good as mine and I don't think I have the arm strength to use a machete.
  • I am turned into a Zombie, do you:
    • Capture me, and search the earth for a cure
    • Shoot me in the head immediately because you know I would not want to be a zombie.  Wife : Fuck you dude, shoot you in the head, everyone knows there is no cure.
    • Let me bite you so we can be zombies together
    • Run away screaming screw you, I'm dating your sister(or brother) now
  • Would you be willing to kill our human neighbors for their food so we can survive, because after all he seems to take good care of his family.  I mean why can't you get a promotion at work.  And have you seen her new car...  Wife:  Is this in a zombie scenario again.  No, no, no.
  • How much pre zombie war stock piling is too much?  Wife : Her head cocked to the side, "Really?"

Reality TV Show Possibilities Section
  • What would be the name of a reality tv show that follows our life?  Wife: Can I come back to that one?
  • What type of facial hair would you(or like me to) grow for a Television show:
    • Thin chin strap beard.  Wife : Chip strap beard with a sigh, wait a minute can I amend that to chops.
    • Full beard
    • Mustache only, but definitely a handlebar
    • Something modeled from the people on The Hunger Games
  • Who would you rather us be friends with :
    • A slightly alcoholic couple who are very kind
    • A mildly alcoholic couple who are funny.  Wife : The funny people.
    • An alcoholic couple who are rich
    • An extremely alcoholic couple who are crazy rich
  • If only one of us could spend the money made on our reality tv show who should spend the money and what should it be spent on?  Wife : I would spend the money.  Savings and homes and stuff.
Let's Play Pretend Section
  • If we had to divorce and go into an arranged marriage with other partners would you want me to pick your new spouse?  Wife : No, then more energetic, NO
  • If we had to divorce and go into an arranged marriage with other partners would you want to pick my new spouse?  Wife : No
  • If you die can I marry one of your friends, if so, do you have someone in mind?  Wife : Yes to the first question and no to the second.
  • What would you rather give up, your cell phone for 1 year or our wedding album forever?  Wife : That's not fair, fuck it, I would give up the pictures.
  • If I murdered someone would you remarry before or after I was executed?  Wife : After
  • Would you rather open a restaurant or a clothing store with me?  Wife : Restaurant...  Well...  Restaurant, but this time in a much quieter voice.
  • Who would you rather go to for advice, me or my parents?  Wife : depends on what the advice is about.  

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