Things : Pre-Marriage Questions

Before my wife and I got married we bought a book called "1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married."

Our exploration of this book started as a lark(yeah I just used lark in a sentence, jealous?) but soon became a very serious endeavor.  It served as a great spring board for exploring topics that we didn't think of or were scared to dive into.  However in reflecting on this book I have thought of a few questions that were not covered that I think every engaged couple should explore before walking down the aisle.

Things that you should ask before marriage:

Zombie Section

  • If we had two weapons, a crossbow and a machete, which weapon would you want me to use and which weapon would you want to use?
  • I am turned into a Zombie, do you:
    • Capture me, and search the earth for a cure
    • Shoot me in the head immediately because you know I would not want to be a zombie
    • Let me bite you so we can be zombies together
    • Run away screaming screw you, I'm dating your sister(or brother) now
  • Would you be willing to kill our human neighbors for their food so we can survive, because after all he seems to take good care of his family.  I mean why can't you get a promotion at work.  And have you seen her new car...
  • How much pre zombie war stock piling is too much?

Reality TV Show Possibilities Section
  • What would be the name of a reality tv show that follows our life?
  • What type of facial hair would you(or like me to) grow for a Television show:
    • Thin chin strap beard
    • Full beard
    • Mustache only, but definitely a handlebar
    • Something modeled from the people on The Hunger Games
  • Who would you rather us be friends with :
    • A slightly alcoholic couple who are very kind
    • A mildly alcoholic couple who are funny
    • An alcoholic couple who are rich
    • An extremely alcoholic couple who are crazy rich
  • If only one of us could spend the money made on our reality tv show who should spend the money and what should it be spent on?
Let's Play Pretend Section
  • If we had to divorce and go into an arranged marriage with other partners would you want me to pick your new spouse?
  • If we had to divorce and go into an arranged marriage with other partners would you want to pick my new spouse?
  • If you die can I marry one of your friends, if so, do you have someone in mind?
  • What would you rather give up, your cell phone for 1 year or our wedding album forever?
  • If I murdered someone would you remarry before or after I was executed?
  • Would you rather open a restaurant or a clothing store with me?
  • Who would you rather go to for advice, me or my parents?

-TheHusBlog


UPDATED : For extra fun I have made my wife answer each question.  

Zombie Section

  • If we had two weapons, a crossbow and a machete, which weapon would you want me to use and which weapon would you want to use?  Wife : Crossbow because I don't think your accuracy would be as good as mine and I don't think I have the arm strength to use a machete.
  • I am turned into a Zombie, do you:
    • Capture me, and search the earth for a cure
    • Shoot me in the head immediately because you know I would not want to be a zombie.  Wife : Fuck you dude, shoot you in the head, everyone knows there is no cure.
    • Let me bite you so we can be zombies together
    • Run away screaming screw you, I'm dating your sister(or brother) now
  • Would you be willing to kill our human neighbors for their food so we can survive, because after all he seems to take good care of his family.  I mean why can't you get a promotion at work.  And have you seen her new car...  Wife:  Is this in a zombie scenario again.  No, no, no.
  • How much pre zombie war stock piling is too much?  Wife : Her head cocked to the side, "Really?"

Reality TV Show Possibilities Section
  • What would be the name of a reality tv show that follows our life?  Wife: Can I come back to that one?
  • What type of facial hair would you(or like me to) grow for a Television show:
    • Thin chin strap beard.  Wife : Chip strap beard with a sigh, wait a minute can I amend that to chops.
    • Full beard
    • Mustache only, but definitely a handlebar
    • Something modeled from the people on The Hunger Games
  • Who would you rather us be friends with :
    • A slightly alcoholic couple who are very kind
    • A mildly alcoholic couple who are funny.  Wife : The funny people.
    • An alcoholic couple who are rich
    • An extremely alcoholic couple who are crazy rich
  • If only one of us could spend the money made on our reality tv show who should spend the money and what should it be spent on?  Wife : I would spend the money.  Savings and homes and stuff.
Let's Play Pretend Section
  • If we had to divorce and go into an arranged marriage with other partners would you want me to pick your new spouse?  Wife : No, then more energetic, NO
  • If we had to divorce and go into an arranged marriage with other partners would you want to pick my new spouse?  Wife : No
  • If you die can I marry one of your friends, if so, do you have someone in mind?  Wife : Yes to the first question and no to the second.
  • What would you rather give up, your cell phone for 1 year or our wedding album forever?  Wife : That's not fair, fuck it, I would give up the pictures.
  • If I murdered someone would you remarry before or after I was executed?  Wife : After
  • Would you rather open a restaurant or a clothing store with me?  Wife : Restaurant...  Well...  Restaurant, but this time in a much quieter voice.
  • Who would you rather go to for advice, me or my parents?  Wife : depends on what the advice is about.  

5 Response to "Things : Pre-Marriage Questions"

  1. This is funny, love your blog

    ferrisfan says:

    The crossbow/machete question should be in everyone's "speed dating" repatoire!

    Hysterical! Great job Secret Agent Cheese Doodle!

    Thank you Ferrisfan and wordsinpurple!

    I would not give up my cell phone LOL!
    love this! i will find similar on this book.

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