A Husband's Guide to : The 3 C's

Marriage is a partnership, often times it relies on the agreement between two individuals to not only support one another, but to have one another's back should conflict arise.  It is hard to be completely fair to someone we see and interact with every day.  As the years progress we tend to see more of the flaws than the successes...

In order to really enjoy and support your partner you have to remember the the three C's.  Compliment, Congratulate, and Critique.  By the way it is in that order...

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : The Three C's

  • Compliment.  If you spouse looks wonderful, then tell them so.  Make sure you are genuine in your compliment.  We so often take for granted the amazing things our spouse does everyday.  It can be a challenge to step outside of ourselves to realize how lucky we are to have our partners.
  • Congratulate.  It is important to celebrate the successes of our partners.  Whether it is completing a program of some kind, getting a promotion, or saving the life of a foreign dignitary.  Successes should be enjoyed because they are what lifts us up.
  • Critique.  Certainly there are times when we are hurt, bothered, or even offended by our spouses behavior.  In those instances you will have to have a conversation with them about how you perceived the situation and how they perceived it.  These conversations should always be fact based, with no name calling, and of course constructive.

(You need to understand that the part above was written a few days before the part below.  That will hopefully explain the change in tone.  You see I was re-reading this and while I agree with the points above it is not anything that a thousand "relationship experts" have thought about and written about.  I would go as far as to say it is a little boring)

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : The Three F's (Yeah, its going down like this)
  • Fake Excitement : I am really a homebody.  I like just chilling at home, making some dinner and enjoying a quiet evening.  My wife on the other hand loves going out.  Most of the time I am agreeable to going out but there are a few random occasions I choose to fake some serious excitement.  I do this so that the wife doesn't always feel she is going out with a Sour Sam or a Negative Nick.
  • Forget Fights : The real key to the success of any relationship is to let go of anger.  It is never fair to have an argument and then continuously bring it up any chance you get.  If we have a fight, after it is over I do my best to forget it ever happened.
  • Fuck With Her : As we men basically hit the zenith of our maturity at around age 7 I still love to mess with my wife.  Whether it is trying to mess with her while she is reading a book, or pulling her back down on the bed 10 times while she is trying to get up I cannot help it.  
So as you can see I have presented two different lists of helpful hints.  The first a boring but mature method of supporting your partner.  The other a more interesting way to look at things.  Choose one, choose both, or do your own thing.  And too be honest you know option three is the best...


4 Response to "A Husband's Guide to : The 3 C's"

  1. I see that this has been up a while, and you have yet to get any comments. This is frequently the state of affairs on my blog where I go out of my way to be as controversial as possible in the hopes of getting a rise out of a troll if nothing else. None of that seems to work. This post or yours is elegant and thoughtful, well written and concise. It presents an interesting if slightly dangerous set of alternatives to dealing with a spouse of the opposite sex. (Same sex...I have no relevant experience.) I think no man in his right mind would claim the latter lest he get caught out. Exciting as it may be to live like this, it's not the kind of thing most of us can afford to admit. In other words no man is going to comment on it because, one, he agrees with it, and two, he can't be seen as agreeing with it. On the other hand, any woman reading this post will only read through alternative one, the 'Cs'. At this point she will assume that you have finally 'gotten it', and go on to something more interesting written by an actual mommy blogger who swears like a drunken sailor. I don't know, really. Just sayin'.

    Jonah, thank you for your insight. I left a rather long winded comment on your post http://daysoflivingaimlessly.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-grand-ironies-of-modern-politics.html

    Ahmad says:

    I have to admit that after reading your F's I had one major F haunt me: Facial Expressions. I think showing the appropriate facial expression, contemplating a spouse's outfit, haircut, etc. is key.

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