Divorce Diaries : The Decision

So when looking at my posting history you will see that as of July last year my wife and I were trying to make a baby.  Then you see a post in Jan of this year that we are divorcing.  How do you go from trying to start a family to ending any and all connections...

Well it is easy, first you have to already be on shaky ground, then you just have to accept it.

The truth is, when I look back on my marriage, really look back on it, I realized that I was not happy.  Being a christian, I do not believe in divorce.  I committed to good times AND bad.  That commitment, was not enough.

The wife had finished school, she had a good job, we bought a house.  We were living the dream.  We tried very hard to have a child.   When my wife got pregnant I was crazy happy.  Then shortly after she miscarried...

The miscarriage was a starting event to the destruction of our marriage, but it was not the cause.  The cause of our divorce was a lack of connection.  We grew apart rather than growing together.  I sensed the gap widening between us and started to fight to keep us together.

I suggested marriage retreats, marriage counseling, but the wife would have none of it.  She told me that things were not as bad as I made them out to be and that I was overreacting.  She said she just needed time...

Slowly I was evicted from her life.  First we started sleeping in separate rooms, then we started hanging out with different friends, then our lives untangled so that she had her life and I had mine.  Even as everything was happening I knew it spelt doom for our marriage, but I fought to keep it together.  I gave her space, that did not help.  I tried to just hang out with her, that did not help.  I picked fights to start a real conversation, that did not help.

Everything I tried did not help.  As the marriage broke apart I started throwing up every morning.  For 4 months, the stress was so much that each morning I woke up and threw up.  It was the worst time in my life.

Finally, my wife just told me

"I want a divorce"

A survival instinct kicked in.  Everything became very tactical at that point.  We divided things up, amicably.  On my part because I felt like she would change her mind.  On her part because I think she wanted me to go quietly.

I am sure I was not without blame in the divorce, but I do feel like I tried everything I could to keep us together.  I look at myself in the mirror without regrets, because I did everything I thought I could to keep us married...

I do not believe in divorce, unfortunately, my wife did...


PS : I know this is one of my darker posts, thank you for reading I promise I am okay.

9 Response to "Divorce Diaries : The Decision"

  1. Maybe I'm just in a funky place as well but this doesn't sound dark to me it sounds honest and raw which is never really a bad thing even while it may be painful. I won't pretend to know what you are going through but I'm glad to hear you are okay.

    Thank you Southern Girl, I am doing well. Although as I am collecting adventures, I am enjoying myself when I can. The stories will be funny for sure.

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    AN Amazing Testimony On A Spell Caster Who help me to get pregnant, So me and my partner have been trying for a baby for the last 5 years now and we have had no luck. I don't have a regular cycle so it is hard for me to tell when I'm ovulating or not, but we always have sex at least 2 times a week, sometimes more. I know it can take up to a year to conceive but everyone i know who have had a baby have conceived within 2-3months of trying and it is really getting to me. my partner had a fertility test about a year ago and his sperm were fine. I'm thinking it could be a problem with me but I've never had any symptoms of any problems. My partner does smoke and have the occasional Priest ink, and i used to smoke and also have the occasional Priest ink. i know i'm slightly overweight but that shouldn't affect our chances too much,one faithful day my friend told me to contact a spell caster that help her aunty, then i contact the man on this email: babaka.wolf@gmail.com , after three months the doctor confirm that i am pregnant thank you Priest Babaka for helping me get a baby, I am thankful for all he has done. contact him via email: babaka.wolf@gmail.com if you are trying to get a baby or want your lover back. he has powers to do it, he has done mine.

    We are a Finance Industry Company professionals with over 15 Years Experience and a focus on providing Bank Guarantee and Standby Letter of Credit from some of the World Top 25 Prime Banks primarily from Barclays, Deutsche Bank, HSBC,Credit Suisse e.t.c.

    Amounts from $1 million to 5 Billion+
    Euro’s or US Dollars
    Great Attorney Trust Account Protection
    Delivered via MT760, MT799 and MT103 Swift with Full Bank Responsibility
    Brokers Always Protected

    Purchase Instrument of BG/SBLC : 32%+2% Min Face Value cut = EUR/USD 1M-5B
    Lease Instrument of BG/SBLC : 4%+2% Min Face Value cut = EUR/USD 1M-5B

    Interested Agents/Brokers, Investors and Individual proposing international project funding should contact us for directives.We will be glad to share our working procedures with you upon request.

    We Facilitate Bank instruments SBLC for Lease and Purchase. Whether you are a new startup, medium or large establishment that needs a financial solution to fund/get your project off the ground or business looking for extra capital to expand your operation,our company renders credible and trusted bank guarantee provider who are willing to fund and give financing solutions that suits your specific business needs.

    We help you secure and issue sblc and bank guarantee for your trade, projects and investment from top AA rated world Banks like HSBC, Barclays, Dutch Ing Bank, Llyods e.t.c because that’s the best and safest strategy for our clients.e.t.c


    1. Instrument: Funds backed Bank Guarantee(BG) ICC-600
    2. Currency : USD/EURO
    3. Age of Issue: Fresh Cut
    4. Term: One year and One day
    5. Contract Amount: United State Dollars/Euros (Buyers Face Value)
    6. Price : Buy:32%+1, Lease: 4%+2
    7. Subsequent tranches: To be mutually agreed between both parties
    8. Issuing Bank: Top RATED world banks like HSBC, Barclays, ING Dutch Bank, Llyods e.t.c
    9. Delivery Term: Pre advise MT199 or MT799 first. Followed By SWIFT MT760
    10. Payment Term: MT799 & Settlement via MT103
    11. Hard Copy: By Bank Bonded Courier

    Interested Agents,Brokers, Investors and Individual proposing international project funding should contact us for directives.We will be glad to share our working procedures with you upon request.

    Name:Richardson McAnthony
    Contact Mail : intertekfinance@gmail.com

    Are you looking for financing source such as Bank Guarantee (BG) and Standby Letter Of Credit (SBLC)?
    I am a direct mandate to a Financial Institution who is also known as private lender specialized in the Lease of Bank / Financial Instruments in the form of Bank Guarantees (BG), Standby Letter of Credit (SBLC), Documentary Letter of Credit (DLC), Letter of Credit (LC), Performance Bonds (PB);
    Whether you are new starting up, medium or large establishment that needs a financial solution to fund/get your project started or an established business looking for extra CAPITAL to expand your operations, our company renders all the credible and trusted bank guarantee providers who are willing to fund and give financing solutions that suits your specific business needs.

    We help/assist you secure SBLC and bank guarantee (BG) for your trade and investment from world ranked Banks such as; HSBC, Barclays Deutsche Bank Frankfurt, and Any A rated Bank in Europe e.t.c


    (1) Instrument: Bank Guarantee {BG} /StandBy Letter of Credit.{SBLC} (Appendix A).

    (2) Total Face Value: Eur/USD 1M{Minimum} to Eur/USD 10B{Maximum}.

    (3) Issuing Bank: HSBC Bank London, Credit Suisse and Deutsche Bank Frankfurt.

    (4) Age: One Year and One Day.

    (5) Leasing Price: 4% of Face Value plus 2% commission.

    (6) Delivery: bank to bank SWIFT MT-799 and/or MT-760.

    (7) Payment: MT103 (TT/WT).

    (8) Hard Copy: Bonded Courier Service.

    RWA ready to close leasing with any interested client in few banking days
    We will be glad to share our working procedures with you upon request to help us proceed towards closing deals effectively.

    For further inquiry contact
    Email : Saban.financialbg@gmail.com
    Skype : Saban.financialbg

    We are Providers of all types of BG and SBLC with the best workable procedures. Our BG/SBLC ranges from MT799, MT760,(Both two way confirmation), MT103/23, MT103 (Both can be one way confirmation and two way confirmation) in USD and EUROS. Issuing Bank ranges from Top world 25 banks with face value ranging from 1M EUROS/USD to 5B EUROS/USD

    Intermediaries/Consultants/Brokers are welcome to bring their clients and cases to our attention and in complete confidence we will work together for the benefits of all parties involve

    For further details contact us with the below information Thank you.

    Contact Person: Mr. Tommy Champion
    Email: trustco.financeplc@gmail.com
    Skype ID: trustco.financeplc

    Contact us for your bank instruments such as SBLC/BG/LC/MTN 100% Protected

Post a Comment

powered by Blogger | WordPress by Newwpthemes | Converted by BloggerTheme