Divorce Diaries : The Plan
8:49 PM
The HusBlog
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After you accept you are getting a divorce you need, or at least I needed to come up with a plan to be okay. I consulted friends and family and started to cobble together a plan that would help me make it through the next couple of months. I needed to decide what I would focus on and what I would let go of...
TheHusBlog Definition Pause (Holy Shit I found a way to work this back in, golf clap) : My Divorce Plan
- Take care of my body, work out eat right. During the bad times in the marriage I joined a gym and started working out regularly. I figured it would be a good stress relief. Well after 4 months I had lost like 50 pounds, which was cool. I still had some more to lose and other fitness goals so I decided that I needed to keep working out. Even if I was a wreck emotionally, if I took care of my body I would at least have that.
- No Dating for 6 months. I decided that I was not going to date or even consider dating for at least 6 months, I was going to be completely up front about where I was with whomever (whoever?) I dated. And no I do not mean where I live, I mean where I was emotionally.
- No Sex Either. Okay so I know that should go with the bullet point above but I made a decision to not seek out a friends with benefits situation either.
- Let my friend be their for me. This one was hard for me. I do not accept help, nor am I normally willing to admit when I am hurting, but for this time I decided to be vulnerable with my friends. I assembled a team, let my friends know that I was hurting and what they could do to help me. Each one of them, being amazing and awesome jumped right in.
- Journal my thoughts. I wrote a lot down during the pain points of the divorce, some of what started in my journal will make it here.
So that seems like a good plan right? I though so too. I will write other posts with updates on how well I did or didn't do on my plans. Spoilers, I kind of messed up on some of them...
I would like to close with some advice, if I may be so bold. If you are going through a divorce right now or recently went through one, my hat goes off to you. I am truly sorry because in many ways a divorce will shake you to your very core. Friends and Family are the only reason I made it through. The team I assembled were the best. Here is a blue print for the team I assembled :
TheHusBlog Definition Pause : The Divorce Support Force
- Bestie Man(or Woman) : This was my best friend and confidant. I told him everything, called him at odd hours and sometimes vented for hours. Slowly as I called less, he would call more. Calling everyday to check in. He was the rock when the world around me was nothing but rough waters
- Wonder Couple : I had an amazing couple that have a great and envious marriage that I spent a lot of time with. It was great to get both a male and female perspective and hanging out with them made me remember that marriage could be amazing.
- The Enforcer : This was a female friend who would not let me do something stupid. Any time I needed to be called on my shit, she was there. She was the firm hand that kept me from doing anything too stupid.
- The Divorcestress : This was a work mentor of mine who had gone through a very bad divorce many years ago. When I didn't know what I was feeling or felt lost, she was there to talk it through.
-TheHusBlog
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