So my wife and I's cat has been very needy lately. I think now that she is used to her new surroundings she has decided that she isn't getting enough
attention, love, adoration, worship. Lately, when I get home she comes running into greet me, and let out a loud, angry :
I have tried to decipher her meaning and here is what I have come up with:
- "You know I have no concept of time right, so according to me you have been gone for 300 years, where the fuck have you been? Feed me!"
- "Why didn't you leave the tv on while you were gone, now I missed The View. Feed Me!"
- While you were gone I heard all kinds of strange noises, you know I hate strange noises, next time you better ensure I don't hear ANYTHING! Feed me."
- "If there isn't tuna in that bag there will be hell to pay! Pet me!"
- "I discovered a new place to sit right in front of the television and you weren't here to see it. Guess what fucker, I am going to sit here all night long. Pet me."
- "If a package from Amazon comes it is for me. That'll teach you to leave your computer on with Amazon signed in. Feed and Pet me!"
- "I slept for 14 hours today, and I have woken up just in time to fuck with you all night long!"
- "I am going to stare at you until you wake up tonight."
- "Just so you know I am going to wait until about a minute before you get up from the couch to jump on your lap and settle in the cutest way possible..."
- "I am going to spend the rest of the night walking directly in front of you and stopping for no apparent reason... Feed me."