A Husband's Guide to : Proper Communication Channels

Communication is one of those things I am passionate about.  Books have been written about communication and even about communication in marriage so the idea that I could tackle the topic in a small little blog post is laughable at best.  But I would like to focus on the channel of communication and when it is or isn't appropriate.

In our society we have so many methods of communication at our finger tips it is scary.  In the past you had three, via written word in mail, via phone, via in person.  Now with smart phones, social media, Skype, etc. the communication channels abound.

That being said not all communication channels are equal and some or better suited for some types of communication than others.

"But TheHusBlog how will I be able to tell the difference?"

I am glad you asked.

"You made me ask..."

Shhhhhhhh....you're pretty when your quiet.

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : Communication Channels and their uses

  • Texting : This is becoming by far the most frequently used channel for communication.  This is best for quick requests, acknowledgments, or messages.  
Some good examples are :
    • "Can you stop by the store on your way home and pick up milk"
    • "I picked up your dry cleaning so no need for you to stop"
    • "Thank you for the sweet sweet lovin' last night"
Some bad examples are :

    • "So why were you in such a bad mood last night" (This is too open ended for a quick response is best handled in person or on the phone)
    • "Can you make plans with your parents for dinner sometime."  (This is trick question.)
    • "The computer doesn't work."  (This is not worded in the form of a question thus cannot be answered.)
  • Video Chat : Video chat is great if you and your spouse are apart.  It can be very comforting to see his/her face when he/she is out of town.  However do not let the technology get in the way.  Many a conversation have been wasted on bad transfer times where one person is talking and the other person is say "huh" repeatedly.  If it isn't working well then close the laptop and pick up the phone.  
  • Facebook : Really only good for posting pictures of your wedding and telling the world that you like tacos.  Oh and if you live in Texas, for posting pictures of your car's thermostat in the summer.   Yeah we get it, it's hot...  What the hell did you expect, we live in Texas!
  • Email : It's not just for business anymore...  Email is great if you are trying to coordinate plans with multiple people.  Start an email thread and watch collaboration at work.
  • Words with Friends Chat : This is a sneaky area where people hide their secret conversations.

All that being said nothing replaces good face to face communication.  We as a society do too much.  We are all balancing multiple things and technology can only make our lives easier if we use it right.  You know the old saying :

Communication is 10% is what you said, 20% is how you said it, 25.7% is what shoes you where wearing when you said it, 18.2% the background noise while you where saying it, 2.9% the color of your eyes, 7.8% the phase of the moon when you said it, 6.4% the manner in which you constructed your verbal segues, 3.5% the name of your first grade homeroom teacher, 2.2% the number of times you cleared your throat, and 3.3% the number freckles visible on your left arm while you were saying it...  Or something like that.  And yes my ADD made sure that all those numbers add up to 100% in case you were wondering.

"I wasn't."

Be quiet voice in my head!

"Because I am pretty when I am quiet you condescending bastard."


"I hate you."

All kidding aside the most important part of effective communication is listening.  Hear what your spouse is saying, ask questions if you are confused, and by all means if you are getting upset take a second for "recalculating"  (That is a shameless plug for a post I wrote a while back that I still think is awesome).


1 Response to "A Husband's Guide to : Proper Communication Channels"

  1. Marianne says:

    20% for "how you say it" seems too low. I'd put that more at 80%. Tone is everything. Funny post!

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