A Husband's Guide to : TheHusBlog Marriage Matrix

Oh yeah, I created a matrix.  [I am now doing a raise the roof gesture with my hands because of how proud I am].

I was thinking the other day about how much we put into our marriages and how much we get out of them.  Obviously, marriages are dynamic things and sometimes you will get more out than you put in and vice versa.  I thought it would be interesting to label this phenomena.  Then I realized it would be the perfect opportunity to use a matrix, because let's face it, it can be hard to find a use for them.  The grid is broken down by the two metrics : Energy Expected (EE) and Effects Felt (EF).  Each metric is broken down into High, Medium, and Low.





EF : Low
EF : Medium
EF : High
EE : Low
Disengaged
Pleased
Euphoric
EE : Medium
Disregarded
Content
Blissful
EE : High
Disgruntled
Drained
Proud


TheHusBlog Definition Pause : Let's Breakdown the Matrix Shall We?

"Ah, TheHusBlog..."

Voice in my head I prefer to be called Matrix - Maker Now.

"Yeah, that isn't happening."

Even the voice in my head is not accommodating.

"Yeah.... ah don't you think that is too informal of a TheHusBlog definition pause title?"

Really, you are interrupting me for that?

"Yes, I think it is important.  Do you want to try again?"

FINE.

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : TheHusBlog Marriage Matrix Defined

Better?

"Not really, and did you just use your name twice in one line, you are getting a bit too full of yourself aren't you."

There is just no pleasing you.  Moving on...


  • Disengaged : Not getting much out of the marriage but you aren't putting much in either.  People in this area tend to be very close to divorce.  
  • Disregarded : You are putting in your share of effort but not getting anything in return.  This is usually a temporary situation, most often occurring when the spouse is dealing with a major stress event.  
  • Disgruntled : Now you are getting pissed.  You are doing all the work and getting nothing in return.  This is a dangerous place and often happens with one partner takes advantage of or doesn't appreciate the other.
  • Pleased : All your needs are met and you don't have to do a thing.  This can be a great place to enjoy for a little while but you have to be careful and make sure you are meeting your partners needs or this isn't going to last.
  • Content : I could say so much about content, in fact I think I might do a post specifically dedicated to that word, but in the mean time I will say that content is to be accepting and agreeable to the situation you find yourself in.  You still have wants and desires, however if they are not met you are still a-okay.  At this stage you are getting what you need and putting in what your partner needs.
  • Drained : It was hard to find the right word for this data point, but drained feels right.  You are getting what you need from the relationship but you feel like you are constantly giving of yourself.
  • Euphoric : You could not be any happier.  You are getting everything you could want or need and you don't seem to have to lift a finger in return.  It is wonderful.  This to me, is what young love feels like.  Young, immature love, might I add.
  • Blissful : You are getting way more than you get out and it feels great.  Sure you have some work you have to do, but the rewards are so worth it.
  • Proud : This one was also hard to label, but here you work hard and have much to show for it and gives a sense of pride.  Relationships here are characterized by tough conversations, constant compromise, and hard work.  This would be the couple that fights a lot but also has amazing make up sex...  Exhausting but worth it for some.
-TheHusBlog





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