A Husband's Guide to : Chores

So there is a great divide in how husbands and wives view chores.  This realization came to me recently and I just had to share.  Men(Husbands) view chores as a prisoner views good behavior.. if you do enough you get time off.  Women(Wives) view chores as a farmer views soil... if you do not do them, you don't eat.

And...  Cue the hatemail.  I am sure that my metaphor is going to ruffle a few feathers, but before you get offended I would like you come with me on this journey.  Let's start with the prisoner...  "You know what TheHusBlog, if that is your real name.  I think you making husbands out to be prisoners only perpetuates the cycle of confusion in marriages and you as a blogger of only slightly less fame than prancing kittens fun time blog should be more careful with your words!  Hmmmpffff."  To that I have to say: come with me on this journey and reserve criticism until the end. 

The prisoner is a man atoning for his sins.  In this example the sins are selfishness.  We men tend to be very narrowly focused on ourselves during our single life.  Once we end up in a committed relationship with someone we love, well... we tend to be jackasses.  We don't think like our wives and often times this gets us into trouble that we are unaware we are in!  And getting out of jail does not represent divorce, instead it represents being a productive member of society.  The prisoner is not  a man wanting to get out of his marriage, but instead, the prisoner is a man who wants to be a productive member of the relationship.  That being said, the metaphor also specifically fits chores representing confinement, and lack of chores representing release.

The farmer is a woman working to make something from nothing.  I am not trying to be sexist here or say that women are incapable of working or anything like that.  But I am saying that most women are great at making a house a home.  They are great at civilizing we men.  They are great at bringing a gentle touch into a heavy handed world.  Women can take the salt of the earth and make it amazing.  That being said the metaphor also fits representing someone who is dedicated to the daily grind of tilling the soil, planting the seeds, and growing the fruits of labor...

There are you on board with the prisoner and farmer metaphor now???  "Hmmmmmppppffffff"  I'll take that as a yes!  Smileyface.  The prisoner and the farmer have two completely different views on chores.  I will explain, oh heck...  I'll just do a...

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : Prisoners and Farmers

  • The prisoner believes that doing more chores now should allow for less chores later.
  • The farmer believes that there is a fixed amount of stuff that has to get done, doing more makes life better but does not allow for day to day items to slip.
  • The prisoner is focused on a time in the future for relaxation.
  • The farmer is focused on the here an now.
  • The prisoner can handle things being slightly out of sorts in exchange for more fun time.
  • The farmer can handle little extras not being done if the core work is complete.
The prisoner and the farmer do view chores with completely different glasses, but the end goals of both are the same.  A happy life.  Sure the prisoner wants to work hard then slack off, whereas the farmer wants to do what is needed day by day.  But the secret is that both of them could learn from the other.  Maybe the dishes can be left in the sink over night while the two have a couple drinks and make out like teenagers.  And maybe a tidy home each day makes them both feel more comfortable.  The truth of the matter is balance is the key.  The prisoner should enjoy doing a little extra work even if he does not get time off for good behavior and the farmer should chill out a little bit when something doesn't get done right away.  

The real key is to "suck it up."  Prisoner! vacuuming the den doesn't really take that much time and you can do it during commercial breaks.  Farmer! the laundry can wait another day, enjoy some time with your prisoner(of love).  Yeah, I know, last line too cheesy, I get it.

You have to understand the perspective of your spouse when it comes to all different aspects of your life together.  We all view chores a little bit differently.

-TheHusBlog

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