Quick Hit : Traffic

Warning : This post contains foul language.

Warning : This post contains fowl language.

I was driving home tonight after a wonderful dinner with my parents and at 8.00pm a major highway was shut down to one lane for construction.  I was stuck in this horrid traffic for over 45 minutes and this was after already traveling 30 minutes.  I tend to talk a lot to the cars around me, they cannot hear me, but sometimes a good yell makes me feel better.  As I was talking to the cars around me (really myself), I thought I should turn this into a post.  So below you will read some of the things I said :

  • "Well aren't you a glorious ass fuck!"
  • "Shuffle the deck people!!!!  One car from one lane goes, then from the other, this isn't rocket surgery!"
  • "If you're gonna ride my ass this hard then at least give me a reach around you hipster fuck!" (I had no way of knowing if the driver behind me was a hipster but doesn't it just roll off the tongue)
  • "You drive like a cocaine addicted donkey!"  (I don't know where I come up with this shit either)
  • "I'm getting out of your way, from the looks of your car, you don't care whether you live or die."  (Never try to cut off someone with a tri-colored car due to replacement bumpers, you should know they do not give a flying fuck)
  • "Your chicken shit ass should have your license revoked with a furry of a thousand suns!" (See I warned you, fowl language)
  • "I'm giving you room, move over now, because I do not have time to walk over an invitation you ungrateful dick wash!"  (Again, no clue where I come up with this stuff...  What the hell is a dick wash?)
  • Upon being cut off by a rather large truck...  "I will spend the next month imagining you in great pain sir, fear my wraith!"
This post really doesn't have anything to do with being married but I wanted to give you a glimpse into my psyche.


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