A Husband's Guide to : Wingman - Husband Style

Think back to your single days, fellas.  Being a wingman to your friends meant that you would abide by a certain code.  You and your friends would go out to the bar and some things were just expected.  Before I go on...

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : Wingman Duties (Ladies, if you are reading this please know that I do not approve of these duties but they are/were a fact of life for many men)

  • Validate My Story, Bro : If one of your buddies is chatting up a nice young lady and starts to embellish a story, or hell, even make one up, it is your job to not only go along with the story but to also add to it, with maximum realism.  If your buddy is talking about how he won the Olympic silver medal in the 100 meter dash in 2004, it is your job to describe the weather in Athens that day.
  • Block The Enemies, Dude : When trying to gain a phone number, or even a potential hook up with a lady your buddy is going to encounter barriers.  It could be the target's best girlfriend-"We came together we leave together", her gay friend-"Come on girl, I thought we were just going to dance tonight", or another suitor-"Girl, what do you say we get out of here".  It is your job to chat up the girlfriend, talk about musicals with the gay friend, or challenge the other suitor to a game of pool.  After all, your buddy would do the same thing for you if your situations were reversed.
  • Get Lost, Hommie : As things begin to go well for your buddy, you might have to find a way to bow out, gracefully and unassumingly so that your hommie and his new girl can have some time alone.  This sometimes comes at a great cost, maybe he was your ride, maybe you have to give up on her friend, or maybe you have to keep chatting up her friend at another location so your buddy can move forward with his girl.  In any case you have to go!
These duties are tied to a single life, and you probably thought those days were behind you when you got married.  Wrong.  It is just as important to be a wingman to your wife as it was to be one to your buddies, however the jobs are slightly different.  Let me explain with a...

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : Wingman Duties - Husband Style
  • Tell Them That Cute Story, Hon : Couples share a history, but not just in the experiences they have had, but also in the sharing of those experiences.  When your wife asks you to share a story from your relationship it is about more than just recounting the details.  It is about knowing as you tell the story that you remember it the same way she does.  She might be sipping on a nice glass of Merlot while you tell it, but she is also listening, making sure that your telling includes all the details she wants the other party to hear.  Don't worry she will jump in if she wants to...
  • Shield Me, Babe : You and your wife probably will have to go to various work functions.  Holiday Parties, Dinners, Happy Hours, etc.  There are always going to be those people she doesn't want to talk to.  It is your job in these situations to sense her need, and get her out of the situation.  Jump in and ask her if she can help you do something away from there to get her and you away.  
  • Grab Me A Drink, Dear : Nothing is more frustrating for someone than when they are having a good time and their partner is not.  Sometimes you are going to have to let your wife be and hang with her girlfriends while you are faced with making small talk with the other guys.  Sometimes the best way for your wife to have fun is for you to not be around.  Not to say that she does not love your company but she might want to have some girl talk.  Keep your distance and make the most of your time.  Even if you aren't having a good time, act like you are, so she doesn't feel guilty for enjoying herself.  Make sure to check in with her periodically but don't do it conspicuously, wait for her drink to run low, then fetch her a new one and check in with her then.  If she is good, then return to your manly small talk.
There are so many things that you used to do for your buddies when you were single that actually translate to your wife.  Your wife should be your best friend, lover, and... Buddy.  Do for her the way you would do for your friends.  This is not only something that she will appreciate but it also calls upon those skills you have already developed.


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