Things I Have Heard In Law and Order/Harry's Law That I Would Like To Use During Arguments

I love courtroom tv shows.  Mainly because they have snappy dialogue, I am a sucker for snappy dialogue.  In any case when I watch these shows especially in the courtroom scenes there are so many great phrases that I wish would convert easily to everyday disagreements:

  • Objection!  Badgering the witness : This would be used when the wife is nagging about something to be done, although I will say that yelling objection probably isn't the best way to go, but it sure sounds fun.
  • The statute of limitations is expired : This would come in handy when during an argument the wife brings up something from years ago that you had forgotten.  I am sorry you cannot use that example to make your point honey the statute of limitations is up on that...  I mean come on it was three years ago.
  • Objection! Here-say : Oh, this one would be fun to use.  You know when your wife is mad at you for something she is sure you thought.  Yes you read that right...  Thought.  She is so sure of what you are thinking that she begins to get you in trouble for it.  In those situations this one would be awesome!
  • Objection! Relevance : Usually used in the courtroom with the opposing counsel is asking questions that do not appear to have relevance to the current proceedings.  I feel like this is a double edged sword because usually when a lawyer says "Objection Relevance", the other lawyer is like "I am about to show relevance your honor."  And then the judge is like, "I'll allow it, but you are on a short leash counselor."  And then BAM the lawyer catches the witness in some super big lie.  So I would use this one with caution.
So there you have it, some simple courtroom terms that I would love to use in arguments with the wife.  


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