My New Hat is Legit (100th Post)

So this post is going to be a little bit goofy, I am just going to admit that now.  Recently, my wife and I attended a cousin Christmas Party.  This year instead of buying gifts for everyone we decided to do a White Elephant gift exchange (which admittedly sounds kind of racist).  If you have never been to one here is the gist of the rules.  Everyone brings one gift which must cost under a certain amount (I suggest 25 dollars, mainly because you can't buy a decent bottle of Vodka for under that).  Then you draw numbers to determine the order in which people select gifts.  The first person selects a gift.  Then the next person goes and they can either, select a gift, or steal the another person's gift.  And so on until everyone has gone.  This is fun for two reasons.  One you are not spending a ton of money on people you only see every once and while.  Two, you get to compete and steal from family.  Out of 13 people I was in position 10 which was pretty good.  I decided not to steal a gift and instead grab on that had not be selected yet.  Once I picked it up, my brother laughed and said : "You are probably going to love this."

The gift in question is one of those hats that covers your ears and is intended for really cold weather.  As stated in previous posts I live in Texas.  The need for this hat is slim but I did not care.  It was too funny a hat to be denied.  Not surprisingly no one stole my hat and instead opted to steal from other people or select a new gift.  At the end of White Elephant (still sounds racist) I felt like I was the winner.

The biggest problem is that I do not know how to share the glory of my new Legit Hat (not sure what Legit means in this context but it seems like something Snooki would say so I am going with it).  I cannot post a picture of me in the hat because I am keeping this blog anonymous.  So instead I have decided to post pictures of the hat doing things that we will be doing together.

This is a picture of my hat getting ready to take over the world.  Yes the globe is awesome, I know.  What makes it cooler is that it opens and reveals several bottles of liquor.  So metaphorically my hat is taking over the world, but actually it is just trying to get drunk.

This is my hat about to enjoy a nice bottle of Malbec, I am starting to think my new hat has a drinking problem.

After drinking all that booze, my hat has decided to go thug and pack some heat.  I tried to stop my new hat from doing something crazy but the hat is now beyond my control.

Disclaimers :

  1. My hat does not have a drinking problem.  It only posed for the pictures and did not drink any alcohol.  In fact I think my hat may be Mormon.
  2. Ok, I am not trying to offend any Mormons, just a joke, my hat is not Mormon.  Nor do I have a problem with Mormons in any way, shape, or form.  
  3. Just because I own guns does not mean I am a violent person.  My hat was trained to handle guns safely before it was allowed to be photographed with one.
  4. Ok, I take gun safety seriously, and I do not in any way, shape, or form condone hat on hat violence.  
  5. I am really not good at disclaimers.
I am sure I will receive at least one email from someone who was offended by this post, which in many ways makes this a victory.  As a side note this is my 100th post which is kind of a big deal for me.  I want to thank you for reading.  I started writing this blog for myself and along the way I guess I have struck a chord with some of you and I am so glad you continue to read (my blog and in general too I guess).


2 Response to "My New Hat is Legit (100th Post)"

  1. awesome legit. good thing I am not in your family because I would totally have stolen that hat...and I live in Florida.

    A hat like this needs not cold weather just the wherewithal to wear it. It could be rocked in Florida.

Post a Comment

powered by Blogger | WordPress by Newwpthemes | Converted by BloggerTheme