Everyone makes New Year's Resolutions or NYRs. NYR might also be an acronym for New York Raccoons or Nest Your Rabbits, but for the duration of this post lets go with NYR = New Year's Resolution. Some people make NYRs with the best of intentions and other people make them just to go along with crowd. This post focuses on the latter(I really wanted to type ladder there to be funny). If your goal is to create NYRs that sound good, or will give you something to say when your other co-workers or friends start babbling about theirs then you have found yourself in the quandary of creating a NYR that sounds good, but is easy.
In order to create the perfect slacker NYR first we have to understand what would be a good one, then deconstruct that to finds it's opposite. In corporate America many people get annual reviews, and often are assigned Goals. These goals are typically S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely). That already sounds challenging doesn't it. So let's use a different set of adjectives. Vague, Asinine, Proper-sounding, Ordinary, Ridiculous. What does that spell? Vapor or if you prefer the British spelling (Vague, Asinine, Proper-sounding, Ordinary, Utterly Ridiculous) Vapour. Now you might be thinking, "TheHusBlog, I stopped reading a while ago, can you just list out some examples I can steal?"
Okay, how about this:
TheHusBlog Definition Pause : Some NYR Examples
- Vague : The key here is to not get specific and do not provide a base line. Eat healthier could just mean eating a salad once a month... DONE!
- Drink more water
- Eat healthier
- Work out more
- Asinine : Keep it strange so people won't ask questions
- Read less about Badgers
- Stop trying to create my own board game based on the quadratic equation
- Start trying to create my own board game based on the quadratic equation
- Lose weight by changing the gravitational constant of the universe
- Proper Sounding : The key here is make it sound good
- Give more to charity
- Be nicer to people
- Enjoy life more
- Ordinary : Make it sound like something everyone would do so that people are inclined to move on and not ask questions
- Give up Gin (especially useful if you really don't like or drink gin)
- Invest (then mumble what you are really going to spend money on) like Invest in more beer
- Ridiculous : If all else fails say something crazy and hope they move on.
- Stop trying to genetically splice a turkey with hat
- Stop driving with only my feet
- Stop trying to teach my computer how to line dance
- Start trying to bring back the Macarena