Lyrics Stuck In My Head -- An Exorcism of Flo Rida's Low

**Fair warning, this is not a typical post for me, but I wrote it and it was funny (at least to me) so I felt like sharing.**

I have had this damn song stuck in my head for literally the last 2 days, I don't know why, but I am waiting for this song to fade into obscurity only to show up in 10 years on a commercial to sell me Blood Pressure medication...  (Think about it, that gets funnier)

In order to Exorcise this beast I am going write out the lyrics here and post some of my thoughts on Mr. Flo Rida's verse

(feat. T-Pain)

[Intro - T-Pain]
Let me talk to 'em
Let me talk to 'em
Let me talk to 'em

--Solid intro, Flo.  When meeting people for the first time I often go "Mmmmmmmmm", because it is a greeting appropriate for a causal BBQ or a business lunch.

[Chorus (T-Pain):]
Shawty had them apple bottom jeans (jeans)  --Apple Bottom Jeans is a real brand
Boots with the fur (with the fur) --I wish he would name the specific brand of Boots here, because my wife has been asking me for a while for some furry boots.
The whole club was looking at her
She hit the floor (she hit the floor)  --I wish Flo Rida would have checked on her to let us know if she was okay
Next thing you know  --Solid transition, almost seamless if you ask me
Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low
Them baggy sweat pants  --This line feels like he is answering a question without being asked.  "Which baggy sweat pants?"  Flo : "Them baggy sweat pants" (Flo points finger accusingly.) 
And the Reebok's with the straps (with the straps)  --I believe they are called laces
She turned around and gave that big booty a smack (hey)  --I really have no idea where this started but honestly, what man finds a woman spanking herself sexy?  Seriously, it is just strange behavior, well unless of course she had a mosquito on her booty, this that is a perfect reaction.
She hit the floor (she hit the floor)  --This lady Flo is watching sure seems accident prone
Next thing you know
Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low

I ain't never seen something that'll make me go
This crazy all night spending my doe  --Crap, Flo is spending all of his young deer, at this rate he won't have any left
Had the million dollar vibe and a body to go
Them birthday cakes they stole the show
So sexual
She was flexible professional  --I can't tell you how many times during an interview I have been asked how flexible I am.  In fact my headline on my Monster resume is IT Manger who can Touch His Toes.
Drinking X&O
Hold up, wait a minute, do I see what I think? Whoa
Did her thing seen shawty get low
Ain't the same when it's up that close
Make it rain I'm making it snow  --Flo Rida has power over WEATHER, why the hell is he still rapping?
Work the pole I gotta bank roll  --I feel like we started the song at a Dance Club and now we have somehow ended up at strip club.  Damn that Flo-Rida has busy evenings.
I'm gonna say that I prefer the no clothes  --I feel like Flo needs to qualify what kind of activities he prefers with 'no clothes.'  I bet he would hate Bee Keeping with no clothes, or horse back riding, or pottery.
I'm in to that I love women exposed  --Flo here could be a real prick and talking about liking women physically exposed.  But I like to think of Flo as more talking about emotional exposure, because he really wants to get to know the ladies.
She threw it back at me I gave her mo
Cash ain't a problem I know where it go  --Well if they are smart "it go" to a 401K or even a Roth IRA(better tax protection that way)

[Chorus (T-Pain)]

Hey shawty what I gotta do to get you home  --You need to take her out on a couple nice dates. Dinners, Movies, maybe even Ice Skating, doesn't that sound nice?
My jeans filled with guap and they're ready for showing  --I have no fucking clue what guap is and I am too scared to google it.
Cadillacs laid back for the sexy grown  Yeah that sexy grown...  Wait, What?
Patron on the rocks that'll make you moan
One stack (come on), two stacks (come on), three stacks (come on)
Now that's three grand  So now we are talking about prostitution.  I don't understand, Flo is a famous rapper, why is he paying for sex?
What you think I'm playing baby girl I'm the man
I'm dealing rubber bands  --Wait is he now playing poker with the prostitute but using rubber bands for betting.  Flo, I am so confused.
That's when I threw her legs on my shoulders  --Ah, now I understand the flexible reference from earlier
I knew it was over
That heny and Cola got me like a soldier  --Patron on the rocks, then Heny and Cola, that is going to be one wicked hang over.  Just sayin'
She ready for Rover, I couldn't control her
So lucky on me I was just like clover
Shawty was hot like a toaster  --All women want to be compared to kitchen appliances
Sorry but I had to fold her
Like a pornography poster  --Who has a pornography poster?  Like a movie poster for a porn, that seems strange.
She showed her  --So now there are two women, color me confused.

[Chorus (T-Pain)]

Whoa shawty yeah she was worth the money  --Maybe not the best compliment for the young lady's self esteem, Flo
Little mama took my cash  --She's a mother too?!
And I ain't want it back
The way she bent that back  --She's probably going to have to see a chiropractor now.
Got all them paper stacks
Tattoo above her crack
I had to handle that  --How did you handle her tattoo?  By providing money to get it removed, or by disinfecting it?
I was zoned in sexy woman
Let me show it make me want it
Two in the morning I'm zoned in  --That seems really late, I hope you could sleep in the next day.
Them rosee bottles foaming  --Seriously, Flo!  Wine after Liquor, never sicker!
She wouldn't stop
Made it drop
Shawty dipped that pop and lock  --So she celebrates the intercourse with some 80's dance moves...  Most of my dates end with doing the running man, so I get it.
Had to break her off that guap
Gal was fine just like my glock  --All women love to be compared with guns, I think I read an article about it in Cosmo...

[Chorus (T-Pain)]

Now hopefully by writing out how freaking dumb the lyrics are to this song, I might have a chance of getting it out of my head.


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