A Husband's Guide to : Doing What You Are Good At

In relationships we often get into a routine of doing chores that follow into typical gender roles.  For example, the Husband usually takes out the trash, does moving of furniture, and handy man work.  While the Wife usually does the cooking and cleaning.  I am not trying to say that one could not be good at the other's chores, or anything sexist, I am just saying that chores usually follow skill set.  Conflicts around chores usually arise when one party has to do something that is outside of their skill set.  Some men might be totally overwhelmed by doing laundry, and some women might be totally overwhelmed by doing some handy work around the house.  Again before I continue I must say these are "typcial" roles and by no means am I trying to say that is how it should be.  For example, I do the all the laundry for my wife and myself.  But it goes without saying that everyone has there strong points.

This got me to thinking, if we all have our stong points, do we recognize them, and do we use them in our relationship.  I think it might be time for:

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : Marriage Skill Sets

  • Technology : Wireless routers, de-fragging memory, virus protection, these are not just words to Technology person, they are badges of honor over battles won and lost...  Okay a little melodramatic but this skill set is all about making the home electronics work.
  • Handy-(wo)man : Leaky facuet, a door that squeks, pictures that need hanging, all of these are child's play to the handy-(wo)man.
  • Party Planner : This is the person that can cooridate schedules, make plans, and create a great time for everyone involved.
  • Researcher : This is the person that can scour the internet for weeks or even months on which washer and dryer is the right one to buy.
  • Decision Maker : This is the person who steps up and gives a plan when everyone else is saying : "I don't know what do you want to do?"  Couples can become indecisive about things and one person just needs to step up and make the plan,.
  • Patience : In every relationship I know of, both people have to have some measure of patience.  But there is always one person in the relationship that has the cooler head.
What is above is by no means an exhaustive list but as you read it, could you see the roles that you are good at and the roles that your spouse has mastered.  It is a funny thing, but we tend to marry people that reflect the skills we want. 

We are all good at some things and bad at others, and unfortunately sometimes we are good at things we don't like to do.  But for the sake of our spouses we use the skills we have for the betterment of our relationship.


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