A Husband's Guide to : Gay Marriage

"Whoa, TheHusBlog, are you sure you want to get into this topic?  I mean seriously..."

That might be the first time in my life that the voice in my head has made any sense.

"That was kind of a dickhead thing to say"

Ssssshhhhhh, you are pretty when you are quiet.

With the President of the United States recently coming out in support of Gay Marriage, things are heating up in Gay Marriage Debate.

Just a little background, I am a conservative Christian, living in Texas.  But when I really search my heart on how I feel about the issue of Gay Marriage I come up with one undeniable opinion:

I just don't care.

I know religiously I need to be against Gay Marriage right?  But to be honest if two people who are gay want to get married then let them do it.  Let's break this down point by point shall we :

  • Homosexuality is Biblically Wrong : Yes, homosexuality is mentioned twice in the old testament and twice in the new testament.  But also in the Bible is love the sinner hate the sin(not a direct quote).  And while to let homosexuals get married might be a validation of the sin, at least we make honest men and women out of them, right?  Plus marriage in essence has two components.  The spiritual and the socio-economic.  The spiritual is between them and their faith.  None of my business.  The socio-economic is about whether or not they can enter into a contract with one another.  Marriage allows for creation of being immediate family, which becomes very important in medical decisions, or even in the sharing of health care costs(same insurance plan).  Plus they get taxed at a higher rate so if they want that burden come on in and share the pain.  Maybe I have fallen into secular thought but to me, if Adam and Steve want to get married, have at it...  (And by all means read my blog for marriage advice)
  • Once you open the door to Gay Marriage People will marry pets and inanimate objects:  That is absurd for two reasons.  1.) Marriage is a consensual agreement between to self aware beings, and if you can get a dog to say "I do" at the right moment I would be shocked.  2.)  People have been trying to do stupid shit for years already.  Everything from creating their own religion so they can wear a spaghetti strainer as a hat in a Driver's License photo, to marrying themselves.  Gay Marriage is not going to open the flood gates of crazy because I am sorry to tell you the flood gates have been open for a long time already.
  • Gay Marriage Devalues Straight Marriage : Oh hell no!  Nothing devalues my marriage.  I have, We have been busting our asses for years to keep our marriage working.  Through the wife going to school, moving, health scares, money problems, and all kinds of other random crap.  Nothing takes that hard work away from me.  In fact I would love to see a happy gay couple get married and deal with the same stuff we straight people deal with.  I want front row to the first fight about money and I will bring the popcorn.  People are just people and if Eve and Missy (sorry no counter point to Adam and Steve) are going to get married that, in fact, has no effect on my relationship what so ever (unless of course they move in next to me and I can hear their fights through my walls).
Truth be told there are so many other things I care about way more (in no particular order in case I put Cougar Town renewal above World Hunger):
  • Future tax policies
  • Gun rights (I live in Texas)
  • The Environment
  • Government Reform
  • The renewal of Cougar Town (seriously, it is funny show)
  • Losing weight (that will be the topic of another blog post I swear)
  • World Hunger
  • Ending our need for fossil fuels because it has been a long time coming
  • Ending Hatred (except for bad drivers, they deserve the hate)
  • Creating a functional Light Saber (it's time has come)
  • Legalization of Pot (I don't smoke Pot but I really want to fuck with the Drug Cartels and I think that just might do it)
  • Halting the coming Zombie Apocalypse
  • Ending the ridiculous password requirements of at least one capital letter, one special character, one lower case letter, and one number.  (fuck that I say do four unconnected words.  Perhaps this comic will help : Password Strength
  • Having easier access to Ninja Training for all(I so want to be a Ninja)
  • Decreasing crime by ensuring a better life for everyone
  • Increasing the Kilt's Popularity
I am actually scared to post this because I know that Gay Marriage is a hot button issue.  But what I hope to point out is that the world has so many other problems can we please take the energy focused on Gay Marriage and channel it into making the world a better place.  Well that and please Renew Cougar Town, it just has an unfortunate title, give it a chance people.

"Hold up there hoss!  You think you can write about a hot topic and then cover up an anger you might have stirred up by cracking jokes?"

First off are you calling me hoss because I am fat?

"Way to focus on the wrong thing"

It's a gift

"Well are you going to answer my question?"

Okay voice in my head, here is goes :  Humor is the only weapon when faced with strong feelings.  It allows us to take a moment, step outside the reality we have created for ourself and let our opinions fall into place.  Anger is easy, sadness is easy, but a good laugh, that takes more than proper timing...  It take courage because if you can laugh at yourself you can understand everything.

"Seriously?  That is your answer?"

Oh, fuck you, that was profound.

"You mean profane?"

Yeah good point, I am sure to get some hateful comments over this one.


PS see if you can guess how many drinks I had to have to get enough courage up to post this one.  See chart here.

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