A Husband's Guide to : Helping a Friend move, Big Brother, and other things about windows...

Yes I do realize that this blog post is about to win the most random title of the year award.  This weekend I got to spend time with a very good friend (this friend in fact helped me start this blog so we will call him CoTheHusblogGuy (you know I like to stick with a certain name format when ambiguously referring to people other than myself)).  He just recently moved and needed some help moving a 4-part desk from one room to another.  Well thanks to my mother's predilection for moving furniture on a whim throughout my teenage years, I am a moving champion, so I happily agreed to help just to spend time with a friend.  CoTheHusBlogGuy is married and has a few kids so time with him is precious because he often has other obligations.

The day started when I got there, first I got a tour of the new house and then we decided the next order of business was to go out and get lunch...  I know what you are thinking, "Two husbands get together and the first order of business is to eat, a little lazy huh!?"  Or you are thinking, "Your good friend has been named by you as CoTheHusBlogGuy, first of all isn't that a little formulaic, or at the very least narcissistic?"  To which I answer, I got to his house late, he hadn't eaten breakfast and it was 2.00pm, a man's got to eat right?

We ate and then promptly surveyed our task.  Oh yes, many tools were used.  First, a tape measure to see if we could get the desk through the passage ways.  Then a hammer and a sharp pointed thingy (I am not good with tool names) to remove a door from it's hinges.  And a screwdriver with lots of different bits to take the 4 part desk apart.  CoTheHusBlogGuy and I worked with a hive mind, each task taken care of with a group think mentality.  Neither one of us directed the process from start to finish, instead the mantle of leadership passed between us like a baton, we became task oriented, sure we talked while we were performing our duties, chit chatted if you will, but we focused on action.  The whole process was very smooth, except of course for one loan screw that required a significant amount of "coaxing" (and cursing) from it's position.

Once the desk was moved from the game room to the office, we set about re-arranging the game room to make use of the newly acquired space.  CoTheHusBlogGuy did something I would do before starting this endeavor, he called TheWifeofCoTheHusBlogGuy (I know this naming shit is getting ridiculous but I am a creature of habit so back off) up so that she could get her opinion.

She came up and gave her opinion but she was a little peeved at the whole situation and I witnessed a slight tiff between the two of them.  A tiff that I must say I am sure I have had on many occasions with my own wife.  TheWifeofCoTheHusBlogGuy looked at me after their exchange and asked, "Do you and your wife talk like this?"  To which I replied with a slight smile, "All the time."  You see moving is stressful, a new house full of boxes, not knowing where the nearest whatever is nearby, not to mention all the little touch ups to do list you are making in your own head can wear on a person and it is bound to come out with little snippy comments.

What I witnessed was a window into their relationship, a relationship that is loving, real, and not always pretty (much like all relationships).  But it was JUST LIKE MINE!  In one little exchange my relationship with my wife was validated, "They have the same fights I have."

Let me break it down for you : Your marriage is probably not very different from your neighbor's, your friend's, or even your pastor's.  No matter how perfect you want your life to be, or how perfect you think your life should be, you are wrong.  Your relationship has two real people in it, and those two people have emotions and reactions that are very human.

"Okay TheHusBlog, CoTheHusBlogGuy, and TheWifeofCoTheHusBlogGuy, your point is great and all, but you have only addressed two of the three things mentioned in your tittle, missing something are we?"  No you are not, I am getting to that.

Big Brother is a reality show that I do watch, I have a weakness for a few shows and Big Brother is one of them.

There is a theory in documentary film making that states : "Once you point a camera at something, you change it, no matter what."  So all reality TV shows(including Big Brother), documentaries, heck even interviews for the news are changed by the simple fact that a camera is pointing at the event.  However there comes the rare moments when YOU get to witness something real, not via TV or the Internet, instead via life...  I got to witness a little exchange between husband and wife that was so natural and so real, I just had to blog about it.

The only advice I have after this adventure is this : Just be yourself (I know that sounds like a hallmark card, or at the very least a line from an ABC after school special).  Your marriage is going to have tiffs along the way, most of the time over stuff you do not even understand.  But those little tiffs just signify that you and your spouse are just trying to be heard by the other.  Your marriage is not in trouble because you fight, in fact the first sign of a marriage about to fail is that you do not fight.  Never hold stuff in, share your feelings (without name calling or abuse of course) even if it is hard, because each scar from a fight helps show that you are willing to suffer some wounds to make your marriage stronger.

"Whoa, TheHusBlog this post was great and all, but I do not see TheHusBlog Definition Pause I have come to know and love."  I hear you.  However the point of this post has already by made so I will do just a little bit of requesting if you do not mind.

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : A Request

  • Keep sending emails to thehusblog@gmail.com  I have read and responded to each one, and I plan on continuing that trend.
  • Comment for heaven's sake!  I know that I have page views, I see them(from around the world no less), but no one is commenting and would really love to know what you are thinking.
  • Last but not least, keep reading.  Again, I know that I have page views, in fact more than I ever thought possible (smiley face), so I will keep up my routine of writing as long as you keep reading.

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