A Husband's Guide to : The Last Mile In a Marathon, or more aptly titled, Being the Cool Husband

I want to be The Cool Husband.  Now don't get me wrong, I do not mean this in a "I ride a Harley and wear a leather jacket" kind of way.  Nor do I mean it in a "I surprise my wife with an expensive gift" kind of way.  There are those situations when things get awkward or tense, where the The Cool Husband just lets things slide and adapts to the situation.

I am reminded of a situation my wife and I shared that I swore that I would never repeat to anyone.  Though I cannot share the details, I will say it involved a party with people she worked with and I had to play the role of dutiful husband.  I can also say that I was awesome.  As the situation kept getting worse, I adapted, made things work well, and came off smelling like roses.  It was a night where I had to bite my tongue, swallow my pride, and all other manor of things that I shall not name here.  My role at that time was to be cool as it were, and I did wonderfully.  Now all that would be perfect in itself, but you know what the last mile of that marathon is...  Not bringing it up again.  You see to really be The Cool Husband you have to not only play the part, but you also have to not keep score.  I never use that night for leverage, nor do I ever bring it up as an example of my "Husbandly Prowess"(I should make t-shirts with that slogan), instead it is a quiet badge I wear, knowing that for one night I was the "awesomest" husband in the world...  AND IT TOTALLY KILLS ME!

I so want to bring it up in arguments, I want to gloat, I want to remind my wife how freaking lucky she is to have me...  But I do not, because that is not what a Cool Husband does.   In a marriage there are some things that you just have to do, and not expect reward.  Early in a relationship you will be rewarded for the most tiny of work, but as the relationship grows those small milestones become common place and the same rewards are not required.  Marriage is a marathon and not a sprint, so you must play the long game and continue to enjoy victories, but never gloat or boast, because doing so makes you appear to be nothing more than a self important ass.

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : The Cool Husband Caveats

  • Do things without an eye towards reward
  • Do things that you would want done for you
  • Do things only thinking that they will benefit your spouse
  • Do things without ever bringing them up again
The key is to model the behavior that you want to see.  Be The Cool Husband, show your wife how amazing you can be in small ways and big ways.  Nothing undoes a kind act quicker than a boastful heart (totally made that up, but it totally sounds good, right?)  Remember that the most important part of being a great guy is not acting like you know you are a great guy, the pay off might not be immediate, but trust me when I tell you, it is there...


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