A Husband's Guide to : Married Money Part 1?

Well if you think about it, the two things couples fight about is sex and money.  I have written several posts about sex, so a money post had to follow...  My father gave me the best marriage money advice ever when I announced my engagement and I feel like it is worth sharing.

MrTheHusBlog (My Father) Definition Pause : The Four Bank Accounts for Your Marriage

  • The Household : This is the receiving account for all the money.  Your pay check(s) should be deposited here.  This is the account with the most activity.  Groceries, gas, medical bills, etc. come out of this account.  In short if "you both need it," then the money comes out of this account.
  • Savings : Any money left over after bills, private accounts (see below), and incidentals goes into savings.  Also you should set a certain amount that goes into saving automatically.  Let me also be state that your 401K does not count as savings here.  This savings should be for both extra investing, and an emergency fund for unplanned expenses.  
  • His Private Account : Each pay period the Husband should receive a small stipend into an account that the wife cannot see.  This is HIS account and he can do whatever he wants with this money.
  • Her Private Account : Each pay period the Wife should receive a small stipend into an account that the husband cannot see.  This is HER account and she can do whatever she wants with this money.
The private accounts are key when it comes to not fighting about money because of one simple rule : "You can spend your private account money on WHATEVER you want."  Fights about money come because one person spends something the other person thinks is stupid, unnecessary, etc.  When you both decide to set aside a small amount for one another you are avoiding this pitfall.  For example I like guns(I live in Texas) and Legos, I know it is an odd pairing.  And while my wife does have an appreciation for firearms (hell she shoots better than me) she does think they are expensive.  If I was to go off and spend 450.00 dollars of our money on a sweet Springfield Arms XDm .40 caliber with optional safety, I would get in trouble.  But because I have private money, I can save MY money and buy it.  Also if she wants to spend 250.00 dollars on Brahmin Tote (its a purse) she can because it is HER money.

Yes I know that marriages are a partnership, but when the rainbows and unicorns fade away you both are going to realize that you are only human and have monetary wants.  These wants should be met within reason and the private account plan can do that.  

Please keep in mind that there are some situations when you cannot have private accounts.  If money is really too tight, or if savings will be sacrificed.  In short if you cannot pay your bills without the added private accounts, then now is not the time.  

Marriages are really about two people coming together to spend the rest of their lives together.  But just because you love one another does not mean that you will both like the same stuff.  You should both be allowed to buy the things that you like without judgement.  Let's face it : For the most part men do not understand the things that women want and women do not understand the things that men want.

Before I close, I have to share a little caveat that I gave my wife.  I told her no matter what she is always more that welcome to buy anything from Victoria's Secret and use the Household account, because, let's face it, we both benefit from that...


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