Terms of Enragement Part 2 - Techniques

When fighting with our spouse we all have certain moves that we use.  If you are unaware of the techniques that you use, you are either "Way too damn happy and are probably newlyweds," or "You lose fights often."  Here are some of the techniques that I have both been burned by or used:

  • Key Point Repeat : This is the one where you say something poorly and the other person repeats it over and over again.  You and wife are in the middle of a tiff, let's say it is about your job.  And you say something to the affect of your job is important.  And then she says "Well I guess your job is so important that you forgot our anniversary."  Get ready, the rest of the conflict is going to be peppered with "Your job is soooooo important."  
  • Out of Context Slam Dunk : This is when you say something about something very specific and the other person twists it to something else completely.  Let's say you just met your wife's extended family.  She is grilling you about them and you say something benign like "Your uncle has a lovely home."  You think you are following the golden rule (if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all).  Well let me tell you, she is hip to that and for the rest of the event expect her to be catty, saying : "Well at least they have a lovely home, right honey"(that last part will probably be said with clenched teeth). 
  • The Why Recursion : This one is so hard to defend against.  Usually used when you say something dumb. The wife is going to probe and the best way to probe is to just ask the same question over and over again, waiting for the story to change, just like a Cop would in interrogate a suspect.
  • That Whore Tiffany : Not picking on anyone named Tiffany, just picked that name out of a hat, but often your ex-girlfriend that your wife hates the most will be brought up to prove a point.  Usually happens in the early years of marriage and fades as time goes on, but be on your guard for this one because it can be a challenge to defeat.  
  • The pause means you are guilty theorem : I hate this one, basically the tenant is, if you pause too long that means you are thinking up some lie...   I tend to be calculated in my responses so I can often take a few seconds to think about an answer, this sometimes gets me in trouble, just remember if you haven't done anything wrong then you have nothing to hide.
I know there are other techniques out there so use the comments and let me know some of the ones you use.


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