Terms of Avoidance

We as human beings and husbands are procrastinators.  It is human nature to want to put off certain things and society has obliged this desire by creating little phrases that we use to avoid certain topics or put them off.  So I give you Terms of Avoidance.


  • "Let's talk about that when we have time" : Classic move.  You are putting off a conversation when you are obviously in the middle of a conversation.  There you two are, maybe getting ready to head out for the day, both of you brushing your teeth, and your sweetie brings up something you don't want to talk about...Maybe it is dinner with the in-laws, or maybe it is a big financial decision that needs to be made and all of sudden you feel the need to clam up.  Hiding your inability to make a decision within the guise of we need to talk about it at length is a classic move, but you know what eventually you are going to get cornered...
  • "It is what it is" : My wife HATES this phrase.  And to be honest I do not blame her.  It is a pointless phrase, it adds nothing to the conversation, fills in no context, nor does it offer a different perspective.  Of course it is what it is, how could it be what it isn't?  I have to admit I say it all the time.  I have to blame my job on this one.  I work in an exceedingly fast paced, high performance environment, and often because of the pace in which we work, we get into binds.  The first thing that someone says is "It is what it is," that is our way of saying, we do not care how we got here, but we have to fix what we have done.  This phrase is really business speak for "we cannot blame the person responsible because they are either too connected for it to make a difference, or they are better at political maneuvering than me."  It has no place in relationship conversations. 
  • "I'll take care of that later" :  Yeah, sure you will.  When is later?  No, really, think about it.  Later could be any time within one second after you say it until the end of time as we know it.  If your wife accepts this avoidance technique, it is only because she has begun a countdown timer on when she will blow up if the task/issue/chore is not resolved.  This phrase is trouble from the second you utter it. 
  • "I just have too much on my plate right now" : Ah the metaphorical "plate."  Yeah, I am sure your plate is full, hell, my plate is full too.  Take a second and be honest with yourself.  Your "plate" is always going to be full, we live in a crazy, hectic paced society, so you have to decide, what is the main course on your plate, because it should be your wife...
These are just some of the avoidance techniques I have thought of, I am sure you have many others, so do me a favor and use the comments.


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